Because I said so

I have to tell y'all that today, I have decided that I am going to write a book. I barely write in my personal journal. I barely write in my public journal, which is this blog to you. I barely write down my grocery list. But I am going to write a book. There are some things you just know about yourself, some things that you know for a fact, without a reasonable doubt. I know that I am Black, I know that I am Female, I know that I have to wear glasses to see clearly, I know that I am an awesome writer and that I rarely give myself the credit or allot myself the time to hone in on my God given talent of writing for the masses, for my readers, for myself. So today, while dually reading an excellently written book and a poorly written book, I have decided that I am going to write my own book. Please stay tuned and mark this day, these words, for I am as sure of this, as I am the day that I was born. Side note: Anybody that knows how I was born will find this humorous, to thos...

What is the definition of true love? Merriam-Webster defines true love as " one truly beloved or loving" So what is the definition of truly? Intensive... without falsity... in all sincerity. Love is defined as " strong affection for another." So who do you have strong affection for, intensive... without falsity... in all sincerity?  Really take a moment and think about that question, those choice of words, the meaning and truth behind it. There is not one person that I, myself can say I have intensive love for in all sincerity. I question my love for myself at times when we all know we should love ourselves first and foremost. I think the "without falsity" part really gets me because I could ever know another persons real and true feelings for me so in turn I could never honestly, without falsity say how much I love someone without knowing for sure how much they love me, if at all.  Some may say that because of this my love is "d...

When the former you has faded When you're little, all you talk about is what you would do when you get older When you're a teenager, you dream about what you would do when you're legal When you're in your twenties you talk about all that you will accomplish and have once you're in your thirties. When you make it to your thirties, you wish that for just one minute you can revert to a younger day, a day with less responsibilities, less worry, less work, less children (just for one day). When working out at 30 you wish that you can get the wind of your 20 year old self, the tight skin... but you can keep the wack men. I hope that at 30 ladies, we have evolved from the type of men we let into our lives because time is dwindling down and if marriage isn't on the menu, switch restaurants, you feel me? But I digress. Is this age all that you wanted and have waited? When the former you has faded

Summertime in Chicago has always been a favorite past time of mine and I hope that my kids acquire the same love and appreciate for this beautiful city. As many of you know I am originally from Chicago but I currently live in Atlanta. My fiance (side note: I recently got engaged. Big Yay) works in Texas so we will be relocating there soon. I decided to come home to spend time with my Mother and siblings before moving 11,000 miles away. So far so good. We are having fun with family, my children are spending quality time with their aunts, uncle, cousins and grandmother. And I am getting a much needing break and helping hand with raising them. Such a much needed summer vacay in the beautiful city of Chicago.

Aye... Being a single mother of two is hard. True I'm not the typical definition of single as I do have a man but because he travels for work I am here with these heathens every single day and it is a lot of work. Neither of my children go to school because I have had a really flexible job that allowed me to work from home but now that I added a new project to the mix I really see just what hard work is. I miss the ability to go to sleep and wake up whenever I wanted. When my son was first born I would try to get as much done while he rested but now I try to shut my eye when he shuts his eye and I'm 100% never successful because my daughter is always calling my got dog name. What could possibly need right this second when I'm trying to nap child? My son is only a few months old so he wakes up through the night to eat and be changed so there is no "dead to the bed" deep sleeping allowed. What's the secret and whoever knows it, just tell me, do y'all ...

My daughter just turned four and I have been homeschooling her since she was a wee little lad. It was all fun and games at first. When she one saying her letters, two saying her numbers and three spelling her name. But now at four, she is saying way more than needs to be said. Today she asked me "Am I going to be doing this forever" and then after a wap to the lips she formed her mouth to say "I don't feel like writing my letters." Why does she talk so damn much? Why can't she love to learn like when she was a little baby? And then my questions make an aboutface... Who made me the school teacher? Why isn't she in school? Why can't I afford to put her in school when I work almost everyday? Man I need answers and government damn assistance because homeschooling a 4 year old is NOT the move! 

Love. I want it. We all want some kind of love, in some form of fashion. But what kind of love do we deserve If love had to be reciprocated Based on how much you participated What kind of love would you be getting if it were dependent on the kind of love you are giving Love. I want it. I want the kind of love where he could do no wrong. Not only in my eyes, because those may be hidden behind rose colored glasses I want the ones around me to see that he is right where he belongs Love. I want to be stupid in love, but... I don't wanna be stupid anymore Maybe I want to be crazy in love But not the kind of love that makes you act crazy I mean I just want to fall deep and love hard But I don't want to fall into any hardships in our relationship I want it to press on, to endure So maybe I want tough love... given to me by a gentle giant Oh how I've always loved light skinned ball players... That puppy love But trust I'm done with the dogs I want th...

Almost two weeks ago I turned 30 years of age. I didn't plan to do anything to celebrate for a number of reasons but mainly because I had a child one month ago. I was able to have a nice children free dinner with my man which was nice but just turning another year is celebration enough especially coming from the city currently known as Chiraq. I hate that word, although it was created in pure truth, it is still ignorant to no avail and 50% the people glorifying the name are outsiders laughing far away from the dangers of Chicago and the other 50% are the culprits that necessitate the name change. But I digress... I'm 30! I have a girlfriend whose birthday is the same day as mine and she celebrated her "dirty 30" in Miami among family and friends. Another friend who just celebrated her "flirty 30" yesterday and another friend's birthday was two months ago... all these women partied and dance and drank their tumultuous 20's away. But what if turni...

I come to you all humbled and with extreme admiration for women who have more than one child. Wow. I never thought it would be so... I don't want to say hard and scare the women but HARD. Being a mom of two is definitely time and brain consuming. I can think of nothing more than what my toddler needs now and what my newborn will need later. And oh my goodness, to the single mothers out there, you really need a monthly award because I couldn't imagine doing this without the assistance of my man. First off, this pregnancy, this delivery, this second child is NOTHING like the first. My first pregnancy was a breeze, I gained a little baby weight which shed instantly after my natural non complicated delivery because I breastfed for nine months. THIS kid here, smh, pregnancy was a nightmare, I gained all the pounds possible, I had to have an emergency c-section, I could only breastfeed for three weeks and I still have weight that I couldn't possibly blame on the baby because ...

When are you too old for a butt whooping? People. Family. Friends. I am grown. I am not only grown because of my age but I am grown because I have successfully graduated college in four years, I have a create another human almost four years ago, but most effectively I am grown because I do not and have not lived in under the roof of my Mother since I was the tender age of 15. I sent an email to my family and many of them took my words as ungrateful and unappreciative but I am grown as hell as I should be able to tell someone, hell anyone for that matter exactly how I feel about something. I did not know that at the ripe age of 30 I still had to tip toe and sugar coat. Aren't we all adults here? This is what it is and this is what it aint. Now whats up? Like really, people need to get out of their feelings and check my birth certificate because I'm grown. I am not only grown because of my age but lets throw in the fact that you cant whoop me. Just swallow what I said from ...

How can you do so much in a relationship? Give so much. Give your all actually, to someone and they fail to do the same for you. They can't better yet, won't do right by you. Why? Is it so hard to be in a committed relationship? Don't answer that. Answer this: Do all men cheat?

How is there still creeping and secret lives being lived when everything is public knowledge and we ALL live on social media?  You would have to be one cut off from society human being to still be cheated on, to still be creeped on and unknowingly be with someone who has a entire relationship, family, life, separate from the one with you. My bet is that you know girl, you just playing like you don't.  Prolonging the breakup. Concealing the smoke. Breaking every fan in sight.  Excuse me if I have no cares for you, no Kleenex for your lonely teardrop. As women, we have to do better. For ourselves, for our children, for our foundation in society. Who's going to respect us if we don't respect ourselves?   Pause for that.  Even if you don't have children yet, what are you exemplifying to your future? Are you a role model or a doormat? Take less, do more. 

1) Lie about dumb shit, for no reason They could have told the truth but don't want any ill feelings towards them so they lie even about something so small and unnessary because now it's a habit. They can't stop it like an addiction. A ball of mess twirling out of control.  2) Never volunteer information They might tell you... But only if you ask. I mean really though, who would think to ask if you are really telling the truth about something you're already supposed to be telling the truth about? It's a ridiculous situation but the liars feel so justified in neglecting the truth on the basis that they were never asked for it in the first place.  3) Let you do most of the talking  They don't want to incriminate themselves anymore than they already have. They will silence themselves to get their lie in order. You have to ask them a question to get an answer because as we just learned, volunteering is out of the question.  4) Cut their phone off at night This one i...

You can't make everyone happy. As much as you so desperately want to. The secret, I just found out, is to do what makes you happy. You can't please every Tom, Dick and Harry and you can't keep up with the Joneses. So what do you want to do? Ask yourself. Because it's your life, not theirs, so live it. 

It's so easy to move on to anew when the last wasn't true You could do so much better he only pushed you back In their worlds he couldn't be any deader in your eyes nobody could pick up the slack He was wrong to them but so right for you You didn't want to be without him so you knew exactly what to do Make the bed lie in it you knew exactly what you were doing Until you can't keep a meal down, pull over I gotta spit the person that you were loving was not the same person you were screwing They change, don't they or were you just acting dumb from the jump You know how to stay in the lines You're smarter than what you portray too late now you got that "love" bump Or was it right on time? Planned Pregnancy

Mothers, where does the time go? Just around this time two years ago I was praying myself to tears every night that my baby to be was born healthy, birthed naturally, bundled with all love that I possessed. Now I am planning for her birthday, in less than 20 days my little one with be turning 2. Wow. Like really, wow! I can see flashes of everything happening in super fast forward right now. My pregnancy, her birth, her first shots, her first tooth, her first real word, her first steps, her first birthday and now we are on to the next. Where did the time go? Man I used to have a freeze time button, where did I put it?

1) DO NOT text and drive. I don't care if I always do it and if I almost run over the curb. You ain't me so just don't do it. 2) DON'T slam no damn doors. Especially if this car is in my name. Oh no... Point Blank Period.  3) DO NOT switch lanes without using your blinkers. First of all it's rude af, secondly it's mad dangerous. These people CAN NOT drive and if you can, you would be defensive and use your blinkers.  4) DON'T be honking your horn or mean mugging people because they can't drive. What does that really do for you? I was pregnant in New Orleans, in the car with my crazy baby daddy during a crazy driving traffic debacle where a finger pointing and cursing out the window session lead to a man pulling his gun out on us. I do not need to relieve that again.  Just drive your dumb ass on and leave them where they are. 5) DO NOT cross two solid lines. That's simple, don't you know the rules of the road? 6) DON'T have your phone ...

As I am catching up on my reality television shows I notice that "Marrying The Game" Season 2 is on. I've only seen one episode of Season 1 and during the time that the Season ended until now I had begin to follow The Game on Instagram as well as his old female assistant. So, after watching the first two episodes of Season 2 I am very interested in the relationship between The Game and his fiance Tiffney because I can relate to them and I love shows I can relate to. Let me present a question to my male readers: When you, as a younger gentleman, find yourself a nice, sophisticated, presentable older woman who has her head on straight, nice job, financially stable, etc. etc... do you think that all of these admirable qualities you love about her when you first met her will decline or erase after you get with her? I ask this because on episode 2 of Season 2 of Marrying The Game, Tiffney and The Game had a conversation about him being a rapper and learning how to turn dow...

We as parents, especially as mothers, want so much for our children. We want them to be good kids, to be great students, to be better than the others and more importantly better than us. We try our best to give them everything that they ask for, way more than they need. We work hard everyday to provide, protect and parent to the very best of our abilities. But the best intentions usually equate to the worst children. Once you give them everything, they start to expect everything to be given to them. They don't know the value of hard work or a hard earned dollar. They float through life like they are better than everyone else because they look better, dress better, speak better. Well until they get around their friends, the friends who you forbid them to hang with because of their appearance and reputation in the neighborhood. But that very group is who your "angel" is drawn to because of their dangerous and mysterious appeal. "The forbidden fruit." The gol...

"If you can't have what you want, start wanting what you have." That's a nice quote isn't it? Uplifting, reassuring? Well I don't completely agree with it. How about "Never settle for less than you deserve." Yeah I like that one a lot better primarily because this is your life and you should live it to the fullest. Never compromise. I think that a lot of us are doomed from the beginning. If you're smart, you're a nerd. If you're dumb just pick up a basketball and snag us a scholarship. What we fail to tell our children is "that is not all you're good at." One thing about shooting hoops to earn a scholarship is... (taps the glass ceiling) you might want to work on being a scholar as well. Most children will ditch classes to go to the gym and practice their jump shot. Stop leading these kids on, thinking they can substitute a ball for a book. Oh and don't be so quick to pull out your camera phone when lil R...