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Brain Busters friday

I have three serious questions. Why do people always try to hook you up with their brother who don't got no teeth or their sister who got six kids and seven baby daddies? Why do people sweat you for your number but don't offer to give you theirs? Then text you "hey, what's up' as if we've been friends for years and I have your number stored. Why do people always volunteer applicants to you as if you own your own business and said you were looking for bullshit applicants. "Aye my cousin B-Moe need a job but he has a felony from '04." Please, help me find the answers. I need feedback. These are my brain busters for the day.
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Tutorial: How to have a successful Movie Date

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It has come to my attention that people think movie dates are good introduction dates... surprise, they are not! You can't see your date (it's dark), you can't talk to your date (it's quiet) and if you do any of the following things you probably won't see another movie with them. This is step by step guide on how to have a successful movie date. Action! - Do not pick the movie. Do not let me pick the movie. Lets make a random selection or mutually agree because 70% of the time I'm going to want to see a sappy love story and you're gonna wanna see a bloody action movie so lets just go with a comedy. - Don't try to cheat the system while I am in attendance. Buying one adult ticket and one child thinking you're so smart and so slick when you're only so cheap and so busted because I won't corroborate when them people's stop us at the desk. - Always offer something from the concession stand even if you just came from or will be going...
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Tunnel Vision

Last week a fellow journalist died in a car accident. A lot of people at my job knew him as a kid from SIUC who died in that terrible accident the other day but I actually knew that kid, Ryan Rendleman. I went to school with him, I worked with him at the school newspaper and most times I talked about him on the phone with my girlfriend because that Rendleman was truly a trip.  His passing made me realize how quickly our lives can be taken away from us and how I really haven't done much to contribute to society, or to my obituary if I were to die today.  When I hear about someone my age or younger being pregnant, getting married or doing something that I would consider a grown up act, I gawk at how advanced they are, in a negative way, when I should really be getting just like them because life is so short!  I am in my early 20's, just graduated from college, have never lived out of Illinois, have never smoked, don't have any tattoos, interesting piercings or children.  This...
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