Because I said so

Just a few years ago, I would cringe at the term "baby mama," Today, I embrace it. It is what it is and I am who I am.  You have to live your life and roll with the punches. I never thought I'd be a baby mama. I'm more of the wife, fiance, girlfriend type. Or so I thought. Life is just not the fairy tale you dream it to be when you are eight years old in your big cousin's tiara and your mother's high heels. I wish I could go back. I would say "self," my self would say "huh." And then I would lay it on thick... "Little Aerial, these boys only want one thing and one thing only. Your heart! So they can break it." Can I get an Amen? "Protect yourself little Aerial. Protect your cookies. Protect your heart. Or else be the best baby mama you can humanly be, like me." I love my baby. Love her to the death. Do you hear me? I am with her every single day! She needs for nothing. And once she start to talk, she wi...

I've never been the outwardly sexual type. I don't dress slutty. I don't send naked pics. I don't go to bachelorette parties. I'm like NeNe Leakes from The Housewives of Atlanta. It's just not my scene. Some things should just be for me to know and for him to find out. Behind closed doors. In private.  That's it that's all. It does not excite nor entertain me to read about someone else's smutty escapades. It more grosses me out if anything. Some things are better left on the shelf.

Dear Mr. Jones, Man how time flies. I was a couple months pregnant when I last saw you. We couldn't talk much because your big ugly ass baby mama was hawking, but oh how I miss thee. Wait, umm, did I just throw shade on your baby mama? I'm sorry. Actually I'm not. That's what you chose. Instead of me. Remember? Remember when we used to talk about building a family together? We were so young and in love. Now look at us, grown ups, parents... miserable. Remember when you broke my heart? No? Oh you're right, it happened a few times. I was always one to give a second, third, fourth chance. I remember when you first told me about this girl. It was impromptu. She was outside of your apartment, she was kicking dents into your back door, she was throwing bricks through your car windows... you were breaking my heart. Before then? I vaguely remember our conversation. You said you were going out with G, having drinks, celebrating life. So you went out, you got d...

When you have no other choice, what choice do you choose? You only have one life to live so that means one life to loose. When the reality sets in that this is all you got, Do you grab hold of the ball and take your best shot? Or do you crawl up, ball up and tuck in your tail? For fear of the unknown, for fear you may fail? When you have no other choice, the choice should be clear. Push away the nay sayers, break away from the fear. Make your choice, though it may not be wise, Choose with your heart and not with your eyes.