Because I said so

Lisa and I ditched boot camp today. Not only because we didn't have baby sitters, but because, and I will go ahead and speak for myself on this one, when I am mad about something, it is hard for me to do anything other than be mad. I am away from my daughter twice a week and it is for a great cause, my one hour hard core fitness class. My father babysits my daughter on Thursday nights when I go to class and my boyfriend's father babysits her on Saturday mornings when I go. The first Thursday went well. It was just my daughter and my Dad. Second week, it was my daughter, my Dad and his baby mama. Umm, side eye but okay. Third week we skipped because Mallory and I were in Chicago but week four... (deep sigh) week four would have been my daughter, my Dad, his baby mama AND my fresh out of the hospital baby sister. Key words: Would have been. I couldn't let this go on any longer. One add on is quite enough but two, and then next week three and you know where I'm headed. Now...

Do you like to argue? Do you think that being silent in an heated discussion is better than going back and forth in an argument? Being silent in an heated discussion can help dissolve the issue because there is no back and forth commentary. No comment for them to prolong the conversation or get more angry at you for saying out of anger. My best friend believes that being silent in an argument would only make him more angry because the point of an "argument" is being able to say what's on your chest and allowing (or not allowing) the other person to do the same. Arguing is nothing but a headache. A good debate however is right up my alley because I (like most women) think that I am always right so I like to know why you think the way you do. But a long drawn out shout fest... you can have that crap man. I will zip my lips, roll my eyes and take the L because it is not worth my serenity nor my sanity. When in an argument I feel that the best thing to say is nothing at all

I am a firm believer in the saying "everything happens for a reason." The problem is figuring out what that reason is and why it is happening to you at that particular time. There are many obstacles that have appeared in my life in the past three years that probably would have never came about had I stayed on the beaten path. But who follows the rules nowadays? It is truly when you step out of line to do your own little two step do you approach a challenge and teach yourself how to tussle. My question now is, how long am I supposed to tussle ?

Man my daughter is growing up at lightning speed. She will be four months in six days and she is already pulling herself up into a sitting position and rolling herself over. She had already been trying to talk and raising her body up from a belly position for a while now. I mean it is truly amazing the growth she has made in such a short period of time. I am both amazed and afraid. Everyone in my family says she is advancing because she is moving out of the way for the next child lol but I really believe that all of the love and attention I give her is paying off. The ability to breastfeed exclusively and be with her all day everyday has been an experience working mothers can only dream about. I am truly blessed to be able to be with her and watch her grow. You all are missing out.

It is mildly disturbing to witness my Mother's interaction with my younger siblings. She was so hard on my sister and I when we were growing up and now she is soooo casual with these two. I mean on one hand I am proud of her for allowing herself to loosen up and be both a friend and a mother but on the other hand, in this year of 2012, you can't be too loosey goosey on these heathens because children are messy. I don't know, maybe I'm low-key jealous because they have such a good relationship. Or maybe I fear that my Mother's kindness is being taken for a weakness when I hear her telling them to do things and them ignoring her. I honestly take it as a form of disrespect and my poor mother, she doesn't even go back and forth with them, she's so worn out. But these kids must stay in line because without guidance, discipline and structure my little teenage sister who looks the same age as me will be in the same boat as me sooner than she should, if you know...