Retail Weirdness vol.4 : Against Policy

Against Policy: Why people sleep with their boss

In lieu of the David Letterman extortion case it has came to my attention that some things never change: Young women sleep with older men. But what I never could understand until I worked in the wonderful world of retail is how young women sleep with older men... in the workplace. And if that isn't bad enough, those older men are their superiors. It is a plus if this man has power, if this man has money, if this man has anything that you don't have. The only thing that may be common is ambition. Being with an older man can give power. It makes you feel wanted. It makes you feel like he is taking a risk for you.

Off the top, 90% of people would say the younger, low on the totem pole, female wants to move up, she wants power and she wants it the sleazy, i mean easy way. 10% would want to argue that the woman just fell in love with the wrong person, they would probably say you can't help who you love and the more you work with someone, the closer you become, making it easy to fall into a relationship. This is all true, both aspects, but how do you judge them? Why bother judging them? Once the situation is noticed, someone is getting fired, sued, embarrassed, divorced or all of the above.

Being with your superior can give you power, especially in the workplace. Long lunch, sure!
Being with a married man can give you power, the power to love and leave, with no strings attached.
But being caught, that will leave you weak, job less, love less, powerless.

Which hurts more, the buildup or the downfall?
Sure everyone would say the downfall but just picture the buildup for a second...

Everything is great, you're sipping a Mai Tai, your favorite drink at your favorite resturant, sitting across from your favorite person. The night couldn't be any better. Well that is until his wife calls and he has to step away from the table. You are cheating yourself out of a fair chance at love. You are getting duped by the aspect of everlasting love with someone else's husband. You are settling for less when you can put all your attention, dedication and love into someone who can return those exact same things.

Peep the retail play by play:

The Interview
He doesn't interview you, another person does but he peeks in periodically to see if you need coffee. He assigns someone to give you a tour, he seems very nice.
Your First Day
Everything is very professional. You barely see him. He's so busy, he's so important, so mysterious.
You're getting a Raise
Wow only a month on the job and you're already getting a raise. It must have been those "late nights" at the office. The yearly mark people are jealous, they start to spread rumors.
Termination Day
I mean face it, all good things must come to an end. Word gets out fast. He doesn't get fired but you do. He's an asset, you are not. He doesn't try to save you, he has to save himself, his image, his reputation, his marriage. This is the first time you have felt pain, everything else felt so good.

So which hurt more?

Of course in the David Letterman case it went a little different but it also went with multiple women. How do you not think you're going to get caught being sloppy like that? My advice to women trying to move up the corporate ladder is STOP! You are getting it the wrong way, never has putting yourself at risk sounded so appealing but ends so badly. And if you're not trying to move up the ladder, you just happen to be in love with the wrong person, my advice is STOP! You will have, can and will love again, move along. There needs to be more people looking at the severity of this case. Yes it happens with men dating older women in higher positions but it is rare mainly because women tend to take statuses very seriously so if she makes more money than he does, he probably won't have a chance.

Men on the other hand love a fresh young tender, so it is up to the women to be strong, be selective and be smart. Before accepting that job, peep the scene, read the fine print because your future job description might just be against policy.

Tutorial: How to have a successful Movie Date

It has come to my attention that people think movie dates are good introduction dates... surprise, they are not! You can't see your date (its dark), you can't talk to your date (its quiet) and if you do any of the following things you probably won't see another movie with them.

This is step by step how to have a successful movie date: Action!

- Do not pick the movie. Do not let me pick the movie. Lets make a random selection or mutually agree because 70% of the time I'm going to want to see a sappy love story and you're gonna wanna see a bloody action movie so lets just go with a comedy.

- Don't try to cheat the system while I am in attendance. Buying one adult ticket and one child thinking you're so smart and so slick when you're only so cheap and so busted because I won't corroborate when them people's stop us at the desk.

- Always offer something from the concession stand even if you just came from or will be going to dinner afterwards, it's just the courteous thing to do.

- If we are the second couple to walk into a theater that holds 500 people, don't pick the seats in the very first row or the two send seats in the very last row. Thats dumb! Lets sit in the middle of the theater in the middle of the row: perfect seats!

- When I ask for nachos, cheese AND green peppers from the concession stand don't get me nachos and cheese. Where is my green peppers!?! Back down 75 steps you go.

- Always sit to the opposite side of her writing hand because the writing hand side is always going to the comfortable side. So grab her non writing hand and have her lean on you.

- Please excuse yourself at least once before, during or after the show so we can do our final texts before committing long hours to you.

- Do offer up your jacket. Even though we knew it would be cold in the theater we wanted to look good for you so please help out ... burr!

- Definitely no talking on the phone while the movie is showing. The indiscreet repetition of you whispering that you're in the movie theater warrants an instant teeth grind and eye roll from me. I would have preferred you just text the person.

- But please don't hold a full text conversation. The screen light takes my attention away from the big screen and if, after just texting a storybook, you ask me what just happened I'm going to say (in my smartest tone) "you should have been paying attention."

- Don't try the yawn and stretch move because it's old and played out. Just move the arm rest and let me migrate on my own.

- When conversing with your date... shut up! This is a movie not a autobiography. I can care less about you at this point, I'm trying to watch the movie.

- Don't be so enthralled in the movie that you are the only one cracking up at a super lame part, leave that for the privacy of your own home. Only chuckle when others chuckle.

- All the good movies are never romantic so don't be trying to kiss me while someone is getting chopped to reese pieces, now is just not the time.

-Do Not, I repeat Do Not talk to me after watching intently to the movie with you ears open and your mouth closed because whenever you do choose to open your mouth the smell will make me want to vomit. Any silly rabbit knows that breath stinks after little to no use. Keep mints handy!

- If the movies were our last stop don't try to come sit in my car and talk afterwards... I just spent an hour plus with you, I need time to evaluate how good or how bad you did so I can call my mom, roommate or best friend and talk about you. Dialouge should go: "So I had a great time, thank you for walking me to my car, (goodnight hug then say) goodnight!"

- Oh you thought it was over? Don't call or text me when you got to your car either, that is soooo stalker. See ya when I see ya, you've just failed this movie date.

interlude

I must write.
Write as I never did before.
I must learn so I can teach those around me, those closest to me, those I love.
I must read, read so I can be knowledgable, smart not smart mouthed, wise not a wise ass.
I must share my experiences with those younger than me as my older cousins have shared their wisdom with me.
I must keep a journal of my adventures so my children's children can see that I was once grand I was once "on", I was there and they will be grander and "on-er" than ever dreamed because they are descendents of me.
And what a marvelous me I am.

shhhh

As a reporter, I have conqured the skill of listening. It is my recall that needs work.
I am really into music.
I sing aloud when I am afraid.
I want to learn the piano.
But it is during silence that the most interesting sounds really come to life.

I almost had a full day of silence today. Granted it's only 3pm but I showered in silence, when I am usually accompanied by music. I drove 50 miles in complete silence. Only the conversations in my head and the rolling of the tires graced my ears. An occasional horn and of course a guest appearance from the tapping of my blackberry keypad were added to the otherwise peaceful and quiet drive.

On the way home I stopped at a thrift store to purchase some books that someone decided were no longer of any use to them. Books that can now be of new use to me. Books that I can read in my new found appreciation for silence. All I want to hear are the syllables bouncing from the right side of my brain to the left. The pages thinning as I turn the page, the bind bending as get more involved, the words whispering to me.

I made it home and began to eat in silence but the enhanced sound of me chewing was a little awkward so I gave myself a break and watched a little television before I went to my bedroom. The bedroom that holds a large television covered in dust because it is rarely ever used. The bedroom that holds a bookshelf with no books because they are all on the floor surrounding my bed. The bedroom closest to the neighbor's barking dogs that break the silence needed to sleep...

I retreat to the treat of silence whenever I can, so that I may enhance my much needed skill of listening, for it is during silence that the most interesting sounds come to life.

Remodeling

So I just broke up with my ex boyfriend... (don't ask questions just groove with me) because he said I was disrespectful.
So I run to my untraditional boyfriend to get a clearer understanding then he agrees that I am disrespectful at times. I never knew I could be such a thing. I'm a grown woman! Who can I disrespect but old women?

The very next day I'm slick talking (as usual) and my untraditional boyfriend gets really upset at me and I am totally floored. Wowee maybe I am just as terrible as boyfriend #1 was saying. Actually all of my boyfriends say I'm terrible. One guy actually called me the devil. I was in high school then... maybe I have gotten worse?

I will never find a man on this route.
How can I fix myself?
Times like this make me think of my mother for some reason.

I hated her husband, my sister closest in age did too. We knew he wasn't good for her. She stayed with him for as long as she could. They are divorced now. They would have been sooner if she would have listened to us, listened to our feelings of him, of how he treated us and treated her. But people have to see for themselves. She would always ask why we didn't like him, but never listened for our answer. Thank goodness he is gone now.

Why don't people listen?

My best friend has been telling me for years that I am a bit much. He is always there to hear my problems and have my back but he never forgets to tell me when I am wrong and what I should change. When will I listen to him?

I want to make my best friend proud of me. I want to change for him.
I want to make my boyfriend(s) happy to have such a great catch... I want to change for them.
But I know, I know I should want to change for me.

Waiting for Mr. Perfect

I've came to the conclusion that this is as good as it gets.

I know lots of women who are waiting on this picture perfect man who will sweep them off of their feet and do everything they have ever dreamed a man to do. I unfortunetly am far from that type of woman.

I have really lived an interesting life for a 20 something... but I know I still have a lot to see. I have plenty of places to travel to, a few more foods to eat and whole lotta people to meet. But what I believe will stay the same, are my men.

I have this strong feeling that I will definitely marry or spend a significant amount of my adult life with someone I have already met. I don't know too many women that feel this way, from my knowledge they are all searching for that perfect man. But I have faced reality and I see that the time that I have put into building all of my exe's into "my perfect man" will pay off because they have had time to think and mold themselves into the men they need to be to get me.

I have done a lot of training, put a whole lotta hard laborious hours into making all of my men the man for me. I just can't wait to get to the end where I make one of the old men my new man.

The Soundtrack of my Life vol. A, track 1

I would like to release my first album entitled "The Soundtrack of my Life." This is Volume A, Track 1, Enjoy.

"I'm sending him a four page letter and i enclosed it with a kiss"

The most important verse is that written by a woman in love. Length equates to passion on paper. The variation of the calligraphy, perfect print at first to be precise, turns into cursive to be convincing... flirtatious, finally capitals, emphasis, let's be clear.

"I was too shy so I decided to write"

I would write to all of my boys. ALL of them. As big as my mouth was, I found out that I could never talk as good as I could write. I would think of them as characters, my feelings the theme song and my words the script to which played to a "tee". I could persuade them to do whatever I asked because to me I was being mushy, writing love poems, to them I was sending lyrics, rapping, simply because I was rhyming.

"And when I write him he better get it on time"

Being a B.B. (Boss Bee...) I have always thought that things should go my way or the wrong way so when I write him, he better get it on time! OK!? Feelings may change, so time is detrimental. Getting this four page letter right now is do or die which is why I would hand deliver my notes. Freshman and sophomore year of high school we would do the front and backs on loose leaf pages, junior year it was a specific notebook and senior year it was on the computer screen. Whatever it took to make sure he got it on time.

Now enclose it with a kiss which could be your hancock: signed, could be the stamp: sealed, could be (lip) service that made it deliver.

Being a writer, being a lover of well written words and meaningful messages, I give my first track to Aaliyah, Four Page Letter. It personified a teenage aerialm.