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preface

I have to tell y'all that today, I have decided that I am going to write a book.

I barely write in my personal journal.
I barely write in my public journal, which is this blog to you.
I barely write down my grocery list.

But I am going to write a book.
There are some things you just know about yourself, some things that you know for a fact, without a reasonable doubt. I know that I am Black, I know that I am Female, I know that I have to wear glasses to see clearly, I know that I am an awesome writer and that I rarely give myself the credit or allot myself the time to hone in on my God given talent of writing for the masses, for my readers, for myself. So today, while dually reading an excellently written book and a poorly written book, I have decided that I am going to write my own book.

Please stay tuned and mark this day, these words, for I am as sure of this, as I am the day that I was born. Side note: Anybody that knows how I was born will find this humorous, to those who do…

Is True Love False?

What is the definition of true love?
Merriam-Webster defines true love as "one truly beloved or loving" So what is the definition of truly? Intensive... without falsity... in all sincerity. Love is defined as "strong affection for another."
So who do you have strong affection for, intensive... without falsity... in all sincerity? 
Really take a moment and think about that question, those choice of words, the meaning and truth behind it. There is not one person that I, myself can say I have intensive love for in all sincerity. I question my love for myself at times when we all know we should love ourselves first and foremost. I think the "without falsity" part really gets me because I could ever know another persons real and true feelings for me so in turn I could never honestly, without falsity say how much I love someone without knowing for sure how much they love me, if at all. 
Some may say that because of this my love is "dependent on"... fill i…

Faded

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When the former you has faded

When you're little, all you talk about is what you would do when you get older
When you're a teenager, you dream about what you would do when you're legal
When you're in your twenties you talk about all that you will accomplish and have once you're in your thirties.

When you make it to your thirties, you wish that for just one minute you can revert to a younger day, a day with less responsibilities, less worry, less work, less children (just for one day). When working out at 30 you wish that you can get the wind of your 20 year old self, the tight skin... but you can keep the wack men.

I hope that at 30 ladies, we have evolved from the type of men we let into our lives because time is dwindling down and if marriage isn't on the menu, switch restaurants, you feel me? But I digress.

Is this age all that you wanted and have waited?
When the former you has faded

Summertime Chi

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Summertime in Chicago has always been a favorite past time of mine and I hope that my kids acquire the same love and appreciate for this beautiful city.

As many of you know I am originally from Chicago but I currently live in Atlanta. My fiance (side note: I recently got engaged. Big Yay) works in Texas so we will be relocating there soon. I decided to come home to spend time with my Mother and siblings before moving 11,000 miles away. So far so good. We are having fun with family, my children are spending quality time with their aunts, uncle, cousins and grandmother. And I am getting a much needing break and helping hand with raising them. Such a much needed summer vacay in the beautiful city of Chicago.

Yall got anymore of that sleep?

Aye...
Being a single mother of two is hard.

True I'm not the typical definition of single as I do have a man but because he travels for work I am here with these heathens every single day and it is a lot of work. Neither of my children go to school because I have had a really flexible job that allowed me to work from home but now that I added a new project to the mix I really see just what hard work is. I miss the ability to go to sleep and wake up whenever I wanted.

When my son was first born I would try to get as much done while he rested but now I try to shut my eye when he shuts his eye and I'm 100% never successful because my daughter is always calling my got dog name. What could possibly need right this second when I'm trying to nap child?
My son is only a few months old so he wakes up through the night to eat and be changed so there is no "dead to the bed" deep sleeping allowed. What's the secret and whoever knows it, just tell me, do y'all got a…

Homeschooling is NOT the move

My daughter just turned four and I have been homeschooling her since she was a wee little lad. It was all fun and games at first. When she one saying her letters, two saying her numbers and three spelling her name. But now at four, she is saying way more than needs to be said. Today she asked me "Am I going to be doing this forever" and then after a wap to the lips she formed her mouth to say "I don't feel like writing my letters."

Why does she talk so damn much? Why can't she love to learn like when she was a little baby? And then my questions make an aboutface... Who made me the school teacher? Why isn't she in school? Why can't I afford to put her in school when I work almost everyday?

Man I need answers and government damn assistance because homeschooling a 4 year old is NOT the move!

This. kind-of. love

Love.
I want it.
We all want some kind of love, in some form of fashion.
But what kind of love do we deserve
If love had to be reciprocated
Based on how much you participated
What kind of love would you be getting
if it were dependent on the kind of love you are giving

Love.
I want it.
I want the kind of love where he could do no wrong.
Not only in my eyes, because those may be hidden behind rose colored glasses
I want the ones around me to see that he is right where he belongs

Love.
I want to be stupid in love, but... I don't wanna be stupid anymore
Maybe I want to be crazy in love
But not the kind of love that makes you act crazy
I mean I just want to fall deep and love hard
But I don't want to fall into any hardships in our relationship
I want it to press on, to endure
So maybe I want tough love... given to me by a gentle giant
Oh how I've always loved light skinned ball players...
That puppy love
But trust I'm done with the dogs

I want this.
Kind-of.

Love.


When turning 30 isn't flirty or dirty

Almost two weeks ago I turned 30 years of age.

I didn't plan to do anything to celebrate for a number of reasons but mainly because I had a child one month ago. I was able to have a nice children free dinner with my man which was nice but just turning another year is celebration enough especially coming from the city currently known as Chiraq. I hate that word, although it was created in pure truth, it is still ignorant to no avail and 50% the people glorifying the name are outsiders laughing far away from the dangers of Chicago and the other 50% are the culprits that necessitate the name change. But I digress... I'm 30!

I have a girlfriend whose birthday is the same day as mine and she celebrated her "dirty 30" in Miami among family and friends. Another friend who just celebrated her "flirty 30" yesterday and another friend's birthday was two months ago... all these women partied and dance and drank their tumultuous 20's away. But what if turning …