Because I said so

One nice hot summer day, as you're minding your own business, sitting on the couch twiddling your braids between your fingers, listening to a little r&b, your favorite cousin calls to tell you that she is getting married next year and she would love for you to be her Maid of Honor.  You hop up, yelling Congratulations, OMGee of course I will favorite cousin, I would do anything for you! Thank you so much for choosing me! Where do we start!?  She calmly says, "I'm so glad to hear you say that favorite cousin, because in order to fit the dress I have in mind, you'll have to lose 40 pounds."  The music seems to abruptly stop. Your smile slowly turns to a frown. You plop yo fat ass back down and what, might I ask, comes out of your mouth next?  Lets consider the situation: this particular family member, this cousin whom you revere as a sister, whom you fully frontal bear hug and rock side to side with upon arrival and Color Purple slow hand clap when the two of yo...

By a show of hands, how many of y'all were nicknamed Junebug?  Ok, how about the ones who changed their name to Unicorn Princess at age eight and wouldn't answer until it was delivered with a bow or curtsey?  Everybody at some point in their lives had a nickname, preferred name, or dare I introduce a stage name. All, of course, in addition to the name that your Mother and Father gave you. So why is it a problem when we call someone by their "government name," and how do we maneuver in that awkward space if I refuse to call you "Chocolate Droppa," per Kevin Hart's playful alter ego? Let's talk about it?  What's in a name?  Letters, syllables, family history? Should we feel a way if someone wants to call us by the name on our birth certificate instead of the name we prefer to be called? You sure don't hear the Judge calling out for the bailiff to bring in Young Thug and Gunna because they damn names are Jeffery and Sergio and I double dog dare ...

Have you noticed, that we don't find money just laying around on the ground anymore? We no longer receive fortune cookies with our Chinese food order. Where did you find the four-leaf clover, wish upon a shooting star, follow a rainbow to the end? I can't tell you the last time I seen a rabbit's foot hanging out of somebodies uncle's back Wrangler pocket.  You know why? Cause luck is learned.  It's the act of turning lemons into lemonade. It's the process of believing and accepting the unknown. Something most adults no longer know how to do because we are hard-wired to figure everything out. Especially if we are parents. Especially if we are single parents. We can't just jump out on a whim. That's crazy, right? What if we fail? How will we eat?  It's hard to imagine finding clarity on the answer without quite knowing how to get to the answer. You may not even be able to clearly identify the problem. But knowing what you want is most important. The cl...

Being a full-time Mom is a hard job! I know you are thinking, what is a part-time Mom and where do I sign up? I mean no disrespect in my opinion, but let's just pretend that Moms who get to spend a significant time away from their kids are considered part-time Moms. They are able to get half of mind, not just a piece. They are able to catch a break from constant chaos, a much-needed conversation with someone of the legal age about something other than poop consistencies, Roblox purchases, and snacks that don't stain when spilled. They are privy to being addressed by their government name instead of their title and their attire includes, but is not exclusive to yoga pants and colorful crocs.  Full-time Mommy-ing is a whole job. In addition to whatever job you might have. And don't let there be more than one child, then you're in quite a pickle. Most days I don't know whether I'm coming or going today or yesterday. Someone somewhere is always calling my name,...

So,  How are yall's Instagram perfect relationships going? How did it fair during Quarantine, through The New Year and now that we back outside? Did you decide you couldn't live with them, or did you recognize you couldn't live without them? If you answered the first, I'd say you knew where the issues lied, you just have to admit to seeing the signs and hiding your eyes.  Let’s work on keeping it real with ourselves so that we know how to keep it real with others. Have these tough talks, we are about to embark on, and actually listen for the response instead of listening to respond. I have come to realize that there are a few important things that should have been discussed earlier in this here relationship.  Five things actually, that gets talked about too late!  Lets chat:  5. Munchkin, how is your relationship with your mother?  Believe it or not, a Woman's relationship with her mother is more important than a Mans, although Women may not se...

Barbara this is Shirley [Siri play Shirley Brown -Woman to woman ] No one wants to be cheated on. True or False?  Everyone wants to be loved. True or False? Everyone has different definitions of love. True or False? The dictionary defines love as an intense feeling of deep affection. But we all know there are drastically different feelings that define the same word. The love I feel for my kids is felt in my heart and soul. The love I feel for my man is centered around my mind and my genitalia. When you get old enough, love is almost synonymous with monogamy. And that's a whole new beast. When you’re in a committed relationship, you’re looking for someone who can fully love you. Whatever your definition entails you want someone to love you equal to or better than. If you don’t feel that the love you are giving is not being reciprocated you may result to some unhealthy actions. Facing reality and your understandable disappointment is the first step in ma...