In Thickness and in Health

One nice hot summer day, as you're minding your own business, sitting on the couch twiddling your braids between your fingers, listening to a little r&b, your favorite cousin calls to tell you that she is getting married next year and she would love for you to be her Maid of Honor. 

You hop up, yelling Congratulations, OMGee of course I will favorite cousin, I would do anything for you! Thank you so much for choosing me! Where do we start!? 

She calmly says, "I'm so glad to hear you say that favorite cousin, because in order to fit the dress I have in mind, you'll have to lose 40 pounds." 

The music seems to abruptly stop. Your smile slowly turns to a frown. You plop yo fat ass back down and what, might I ask, comes out of your mouth next? 

Lets consider the situation: this particular family member, this cousin whom you revere as a sister, whom you fully frontal bear hug and rock side to side with upon arrival and Color Purple slow hand clap when the two of you depart, is getting married next year, yet YOU have to lose the pounds to fit the dress? 

All that you can muster to ask is, "Are you serious right now?" 

She quickly responds "Yes, I'm very serious. I want my wedding pictures to look a certain way. I want everybody to look nice in the fitted strapless dresses, I want everyone to have this blunt cut bob, I want everyone to wear these blue strappy sling backs. If you're overweight, you might feel uncomfortable in the required attire so I figure this is a better compromise since I really want you in my wedding. We can even go to the gym together!"

Is she rude or is she right? Is she justified in this adamant request since it's her special day so she has the say in what her Bridesmaids and pictures should look like? Or since Blood is thicker than water and you're thicker than a snicker, should she take you as you are, as you have been, a loyal cousin although slightly overweight but clearly anxious to be in the Wedding while loving the skin you're in. 

Let me be the first to tell you that overweight people, are the worst critics of themselves. Be them Precious or Lizzo, we question our own selves by the minute, our next outfit by the hour, our food portions by the day, our love handles for crying out loud. The last thing we need is a loved one pointing out those flaws to us and forcing their perception of beauty and standards upon us. I was an overweight Bridesmaid once, the Maid of Honor to be exact. I was the fattest and yet I smiled the biggest. I was plump and present for all activities and although I hated every single picture taken of me, it wasn't my day, it was my friends special day and I was there in the full capacity that she needed me. Regardless of my size and her possible picture perfect image, she was surrounded by love and to my understanding, that's what weddings are about. 

So again I ask, what comes out your mouth to your favorite cousin? Are you going to hit the incline at the gym or are you going to decline the Maid of Honor Wedding invitation?