Found in Chicago

I love the story of my birth. I love it so much that I can't remember what is reality and what is fiction... it's that good. It takes a real good story teller (aka liar) to tell the story of my birth and no one does it better than "Triflin" (my father) but my Aunts have showered me with funny moments as well only for my Mother to crush all the lies with her front seat to the action, but here goes my recollection... if i am allowed to have one.

It was a thunder-storming summer Tuesday, the 190th day of the year (July 9th) and a pretty young thang was having crazy labor pains so she kept going back and forth to the hospital and after being kicked out of the hospital for getting slick at the lips with the nurse who said she was having false labor pains she returned home still with child. For the safety and confidentiality of this source, we are going to call her "Mommy". 

After a tiresome trip she walks back up the stairs to the house to use the restroom only for her mother to bust in the door and pull her off the toilet telling her to stop pushing before her child is swimming in the toilet bowl. 

So back down the two flights of stairs goes "Mommy" before she breaks down right outside the house saying she can't move anymore and she yells that her baby is acoming. Shouts rang out for "Mommy's" brother Junior to come down and hold her before she faints...oh and somebody call the male responsible, who is now known as "Triflin" but for his confidentiality at this time, we will him "Daddy."

Cut to "Daddy" who gets the emergency phone call while over another girl's house. He runs all the way to "Mommy" who has led a trail of blood from the street back to the hallway. A few moments later and "Daddy's" fresh blue and white Nike's is now an American flag as speckles of red appear, so in the United States of America in Chicago Illinois on the sidewalk of Lexington, a child was born. 

Slid from between the over sized blue maternity shorts appeared a little person, delivered by the quickest baby catcher empire lady now officially known as Grandma. The ambulance comes shortly after to rush a freshly born baby to the hospital only minutes after midnight now declaring the birth date July 10th because it was when the umbilical cord was cut. An umbilical cord that my Father was not able to cut because he was at his other girlfriend's house, the same Father who was not able to go into the emergency room when my mother and I made it to the hospital because he was under the required age limit. 

So under the direction of a July 10 birth certificate a gray eyed aerialm (for a week because of the acid rain) actually entered this world through the pants of her Mommy and in the hands of her Grandmother on the sidewalk of Lexington in the wee hours of the night on the ninth of July in the middle of a thunderstorm. Anyone who hears this story has to be a good story teller in order to tell it to someone else. As my Aunt said tonight "Now that's how tales are told."