These are the days of our lives
I'm in Chicago for season two of "treat aerialm like an outsider." This plague has infected my family and last time it didn't really bother me but this time it has. The news of my pregnancy and the meeting of my love him or hate him boyfriend has changed my relationships with my aunts and cousins and I don't like it one bit.
I have a big family, a big family dominated by very aggressive and opinionated women. I used to be one of them until I did something that they felt was out of my character, so now they act as if I am foreign land and they must look but not touch for fear of catching the disease that has taken over my land.
It's funny because even the silliest and laid back cousin rolled his eyes and smirked his lips when he saw me. But it was his wife, my cousin through marriage that really made me happy. She said "I'm not going to fuss at you like everyone else, I just want to know if everything is alright." Now how pleasant is that? A big adjustment from your most loving and loyal cousin telling your aunt how she has divorced you.
It's funny how your own family is so quick to disown you when you make a "mistake" but it is the lovely additions to the family who are able to see the reality in the fairy tale that your loved ones paint for you and your life.
No one seems to realize that this is my life and even though every decision that I have made so far has been great in their eyes, I have always faulted myself for the things that I have done wrong, even when they perceived it as a job well done, I always knew I could do better. But it was their praises and loyalty that made me accept the good and learn from my self inflicted mistakes.
Well this situation is no different, I know right from wrong and as much as we strive for perfection, no one is perfect, so we all make mistakes. No one in my has family followed the rules: graduate college, get married then have a child. No one! So just because I started down the right path and didn't finish you wont ride my coat tail to the end? Did I disown you as a cousin when you didn't finish college? When you had your child before marriage? When you got pregnant before the age of 21? No because I am no one to judge and neither are you!
This mistake I can not abort because it is my child and even though they think my boyfriend will not be along for the ride, I could care less because my happiness doesn't lie in his hands. It used to lie in the warmth of my family but I guess living in Chicago has made their hearts as cold as the winter hawk.
I have a big family, a big family dominated by very aggressive and opinionated women. I used to be one of them until I did something that they felt was out of my character, so now they act as if I am foreign land and they must look but not touch for fear of catching the disease that has taken over my land.
It's funny because even the silliest and laid back cousin rolled his eyes and smirked his lips when he saw me. But it was his wife, my cousin through marriage that really made me happy. She said "I'm not going to fuss at you like everyone else, I just want to know if everything is alright." Now how pleasant is that? A big adjustment from your most loving and loyal cousin telling your aunt how she has divorced you.
It's funny how your own family is so quick to disown you when you make a "mistake" but it is the lovely additions to the family who are able to see the reality in the fairy tale that your loved ones paint for you and your life.
No one seems to realize that this is my life and even though every decision that I have made so far has been great in their eyes, I have always faulted myself for the things that I have done wrong, even when they perceived it as a job well done, I always knew I could do better. But it was their praises and loyalty that made me accept the good and learn from my self inflicted mistakes.
Well this situation is no different, I know right from wrong and as much as we strive for perfection, no one is perfect, so we all make mistakes. No one in my has family followed the rules: graduate college, get married then have a child. No one! So just because I started down the right path and didn't finish you wont ride my coat tail to the end? Did I disown you as a cousin when you didn't finish college? When you had your child before marriage? When you got pregnant before the age of 21? No because I am no one to judge and neither are you!
This mistake I can not abort because it is my child and even though they think my boyfriend will not be along for the ride, I could care less because my happiness doesn't lie in his hands. It used to lie in the warmth of my family but I guess living in Chicago has made their hearts as cold as the winter hawk.
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