Remodeling

So I just broke up with my ex boyfriend... (don't ask questions just groove with me) because he said I was disrespectful.
So I run to my untraditional boyfriend to get a clearer understanding then he agrees that I am disrespectful at times. I never knew I could be such a thing. I'm a grown woman! Who can I disrespect but old women?

The very next day I'm slick talking (as usual) and my untraditional boyfriend gets really upset at me and I am totally floored. Wowee maybe I am just as terrible as boyfriend #1 was saying. Actually all of my boyfriends say I'm terrible. One guy actually called me the devil. I was in high school then... maybe I have gotten worse?

I will never find a man on this route.
How can I fix myself?
Times like this make me think of my mother for some reason.

I hated her husband, my sister closest in age did too. We knew he wasn't good for her. She stayed with him for as long as she could. They are divorced now. They would have been sooner if she would have listened to us, listened to our feelings of him, of how he treated us and treated her. But people have to see for themselves. She would always ask why we didn't like him, but never listened for our answer. Thank goodness he is gone now.

Why don't people listen?

My best friend has been telling me for years that I am a bit much. He is always there to hear my problems and have my back but he never forgets to tell me when I am wrong and what I should change. When will I listen to him?

I want to make my best friend proud of me. I want to change for him.
I want to make my boyfriend(s) happy to have such a great catch... I want to change for them.
But I know, I know I should want to change for me.

Comments

J Soul Da Genius said…
"How can I fix myself?" Someone may think you're just fine. . . But oh well. . . maybe someone is being trained instead of training. . .
September 9, 2009 at 6:56 AM
Because I Said So said…
Someone who does not know me may think I'm just fine. And everyone needs a little training once in a while... how else do you expect to secure a better
'job?"
September 9, 2009 at 3:23 PM
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