Constructive criticism

There is a such thing as constructive criticism, but most often than not, the person giving it is not constructive enough and the person receiving does not want to be criticized.
I was told something last night that would probably hurt most people but it only made me stronger. I mean it hurt for a few seconds but after the anger was released I was so much stronger because of it. My daughter's father is a very attractive man. A few of my girlfriends beg to differ (or at least they say they do but you can never trust a woman around your man), but I see with my own four eyes the way women of all ages act when he's steps into a room. It's mildly hhilarious if you ask me but to a different type of woman, being in that type of environment every time you go somewhere is tiresome and could be a blow to your self esteem. It was a blow to my hustle.

Yesterday, he and I had a conversation about his new girl, my new guy, our new things. He showed me a photo and I laughed at the sight of his new girl because quite honestly she does not look better than me. She has blonde weave for goodness sakes. But what he said next made me see that the joke was on me. I said you don't want me anymore because I'm not extra, I'm not flashy, I don't wear skimpy outfits or weaves or lashes. He laughed himself and in the most honest voice I've ever heard, he told me that I was lazy. Not yawn, tired, lazy but useless, purposeless, floating through life lazy. Damn.

He said I don't have any hustle about myself anymore. When he first met me I was a working woman, a go getter and now I'm not. Realist shit I ever heard, because it was so true. I tried to defend myself but it was no use, his blunt declaration at 230 this morning has changed my thought process drastically. I can't blame anyone but myself. I will do better because I can. I was doing it before him, I could have been doing it while with him and I damn sure should be doing it without him because it's not about him, its about me! I so appreciate him for opening my eyes, telling me the truth and pushing me back where I belong. "If nothing bad is ever said, nothing good will ever get done." - Unknown

Comments

Don said…
Hey Aerial, stepped away trying to get a better grasp on these classes that just began. Anyway, congrats on the birth of your daughter. A mini-Aerial...the world has trouble! Lol. Far as your post I believe in constructive criticism, as it forces (helps) a person to see things which might've gone unnoticed (for whatever reasons).

I honest to God believe it takes someone who loves a person or has love for a person to constructively criticize. Not to mention how I think it's cool how you and your daughter's father can hold such conversation despite involvement with others.

True player ish.
August 21, 2012 at 10:57 PM
Lisa said…
The irony of this criticism is hilarious to me. Sometimes I think we as women get lost in trying to better our men that we forget to continuously improve ourselves. It takes a comment like this from that person to slap us in the face and make us realize that while we are investing all this time into showing them how to be responsible adults, we slack off in our own lives.

PS...blond weave tho?!
August 22, 2012 at 7:40 AM
Because I Said So said…
Hey Don! Dreadful classes. Thank you so much, the world does have trouble with my kid. She is truly a reflection of her parents. And he and I are a work in progress. But I can never veer from my player mentality lol.

Lease, now you know... lol. I had a whole paragraph about that but the post was getting too long so I cut it but yes, your comment is so true.
August 23, 2012 at 11:14 AM
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