If I were on your favorite tv show...

If I were on Maury, today's show would be entitled: "The women who hold men down and the men who don't deserve it." I swear being a down ass chick gets you no where if the man doesn't love you. Now you're just down for no damn reason, struggling for air, with no one to pull you up.

If I were on Love and Hip Hop of Atlanta, my character would be the random woman who slapped some sense into MiMi Faust. She really really needs it Lord. Let me help her, please.

If I were on Top Chef, I would be the only "chef" using the microwave. Hey man, I'm just now learning how to do the cooking thing, give me a break.

If I were on Jeopardy, I would play like I'm clicking the shit outta that buzzer then lie and say it didn't work.

If I were on La La's Full Court Life I would have to tell Po that her wardrobe is a montronsity and if she ditched the rags she would look much more attractive.

If I were on Bad Girls Club I would be sent home the second day for going hamburger. I know it, I just know my self control is not up to par. Another Chicagoan bites the dust.

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