Because I said so

Why did I go to a place in my dreams last night, that I had been before? I was telling the people in my dream, which happened to be my play brother Torrance and a girl whom I can't quite remember, that I knew this place and I was telling them what they should look out for. It was very strange, like I was trying to familiarize myself with the building and all around me the people and the events were happening exactly how I remember them happening the first time I visited this place in my dreams.  The dream wasn't the same though because I was catching events mid way, meeting situations from a different angle and finishing people's  sentences as they were talking to me. It was definitely a weird experience both during and after my dream.  Am I getting too old or do I dream too much that I have to recycle locations and missions. Am I maybe in a place in my life that I have been before and am trying to re-navigate out of this place a second time? Only time w...

It's easy to be a low key hater. It is sad when you do not know that you are the hater friend until you are caught in the middle of hating. Some people are created to call the shots. Natural born leaders. And some people are, well... not. But just because you are not the shot caller does not mean that you have to be the hater. If someone tells you something out of sheer consideration and extreme happiness you can either: a) smile at the introduction, gasp at the climax, clamp your hands in excitement at the conclusion b) grin, nod and shake your head during the whole story c) interrupt mid sentence, regret that you have to run and dash out of the nearest exit Let me also add before your decision making, that this person is just a friend of a friend, not your bestie and not your family member. If they talked to you, fine, it they don't even better. Okay. So what's your choice? A, B or C? I know you're probably thinking that a) you're nice b) you're okay...

I always seem to find myself in between a good man and a bad boy. There is just something about bad boys that always seem to prevail. Their anger towards everything, the mystery behind their anger, the way their eyebrows curve when their angry. No one could have told me that I would have bypassed all of my bad boy obsessions only to fall in love with a good man. I mean a really good man. A really good man who treats me so well, beyond my widest dreams and expectations. Check? What's a check? A really good man who pays for everything! That's a really big improvement from the last bad boy relationship. He made money only to round up all of this homeboys, buy them each a new outfit, a fresh pair of shoes, take them to the club, pay for VIP entry and pop bottles... I am totally shaking my head as I write this, but it is indeed all true. I have such a good man. He knows his job and he does it well. It's like a breath of fresh air every time we're together. I want to ru...

Happy Holidays everyone. Hide yo' purse, hide yo' wife, hide yo' kids. My roommate and I got our house broken into two weeks before Christmas, they stole all the electronics (except my old big back tv that I bought for a hot $75 in college). I knew I had not upgraded to a flat screen for a reason. How come it always gets so dangerous during the Holidays? Some people are paying it forward, paying for random citizens purchases or lunches. Other people are pulling us back, picking out ski masks and kicking in doors. It's a shame that a person can not be safe in secure in their own home. Thankfully we had just stepped out to go grocery shopping because Lord knows that if I was home I would have ran downstairs like "Whats up?!" and got clocked in my fool head. I don't know why instant danger doesn't scare me. It's afterwards that I wisen up like fool you could have been killed, but in the moment I'ma goon... heads straight to the strange noise ...

Last month one of my friends came to town with his new girlfriend in tow. The last time I seen him in my town he was with his ex girlfriend, who because of him, I had become very fond of. We had all went to college together, him, the ex girlfriend and I, but our paths had really never crossed until she began dating him so I'm all on twitter chatting with her and what not, about how I missed her this last visit and how the new girl was totally... unlike her. She begin to laugh of course and tell me how my friend, her ex, would get me if he knew what I was saying to her. But because twitter is so public, I knew that he would see parts of it and think I was taking cheap shots at his new boo so I decided to give him a call and personally tell him how much I didn't think this new girl was for him. Although she was nice... she, to me, was just not his type. Now let me pause this story to ask a very important question: Who the hell am I? Furthermore, who the hell am I to talk about...

When your shhh is louder than the person making the initial noise. When you play like the check is not on the table. When you take but never give. When you act like you're hot stuff when you really look like hot shit. When you fall asleep while I'm texting you. When I fall asleep while I'm texting you. When you slam the door like a three year old when you're mad. When you talk on the phone while we're watching a movie. When you become overly obsessed with something that you just found out about yesterday. When you lie for no damn reason. When I am in such a rush that I can only paint my big toe and my second toe since those are the only ones to show in these shoes. When you don't give me my credit. When you don't offer your help. When you talk to me like I'm dumb. When you get into a cold car and blast the "heat." The car has to warm up first fool! When I take my hair down before brushing my teeth. I also get toothpaste on my ...

I can not wait to get home to my mother so that she can spend quality Grandma time with my daughter. Every time I go home I am going to pay for us to get pictures taken, one because I love to document life and two because three generations of beautiful women is such a blessing to be apart of. I wish that my Grandmother was alive, I would so take advantage of her wisdom right now. My Great Grandmother is alive and kicking somewhere in Buffalo, New York but I haven't seen her in a decade. That would be a nice family trip... On Mother's Day Jada Pinkett - Smith sat down with her mother, Adrienne Banfield and daughter, Willow Smith to discuss life, pain, fame and family. Yes this is an old event but I recently saw it and instantly loved it. I hope that my mother, my daughter and I could one day duplicate this lovely heart to heart (to heart). Please watch and I'm sure you will too enjoy this clip of Jada's Red Table Talks: Red Table Talks: Jada Pinkett-Smith, Wi...

I hate to hear people say they regret things. I don't regret a single thing. Everything that I have been through, be them good or bad has helped me become the woman I am today. Believe it or not the bad may very well have overpowered the good in some cases because you learn from your mistakes. Everyone needs to fall so that we all know just how cold the floor is. A stumble may prevent a fall but a fall prevents you from taking a second trip down that wet and slippery isle again. You should have obeyed the caution sign but you had to take that walk, now you limping back. Yo' bad. Bet you won't do it again. Mistakes are a must.

You do know that there is a such thing as respectfully cheating, right? Rhetorical. I'm telling you.  Lets be clear, I am in no way condoning infidelity, but if you are in such a predicament please make your best formulated judgement in deciding your future. Is your "partner" being flat out messy, inconsiderate and selfish or if he is respectfully cheating? Does he stay out all night? Has he been walking around the house like a room mate? Do his other women call your phone talking shit? Have you found a pair of underwear that were clearly not yours? Is he taking her to Vegas while you're swiping your bus card? Do you have an STD? No to all of the above? Okay. So if you love him, hang in there dollface, he has potential. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. He'll get tired of the tramps, lets just hope you don't get tired of them before he does. Some men turn random quickies into full blown affairs. Other men just call a one night stand exact...

My daughter has beautiful hair. Not all negro like mine thanks to her Daddy and his multicultural heritage. Not that there is anything wrong with all negro hair but for the sake of my fingertips, I am happy to comb her hair everyday with ease. As she is getting older I am in search for age suitable hair styles. In my search these past few late night hours, I have somehow managed to find more information for my natural hair than hers. Shaking my selfish head. So on that note, I think I am going to try a few natural hair care products for my already natural hair. I have been perm free since senior year of college but I not the no heat natural chick, although I adore (most) of them. I am a girl (as you may have been able to tell from the background photo) but I am not the girly girl who does her own hair. I don't even know how to perform such a thing, so this project is going to be both entertaining, enlightening and educational. I go get my hair straightened once a month but I ha...

One of my "friends" asked me if he should stop loving me because I told him that I didn't love him. I responded "that's your choice." And I wasn't trying to be an ass, I was being as real as I could possibly be. I can't tell you who to love. I can't even tell you not to love me. Your heart is going to do whatever it feels. Sorry if my heart doesn't feel the same way but since love is a two way street, maybe you need to put your locomotive in drive because this spot is reserved and your name is not on the pavement.

The highest form of disrespect is when a person who has been in your life for more than enough time to get your name right, still says and/or spells your name incorrectly. To me that is a slap in the face. It is like saying "Hey whats her face come scrub my ass or pick the gum from my shoe since your so far beneath me." I HATE when people say my name wrong which is why I named my child a simple name. I wanted it to be more simple than that: Amy, Bo, Q. Something short that people shouldn't mess up but probably would. Something simple so she would not have to go through the constant correction that I went through all of my life and still today. There is this one woman in my life who consistently ruins the spelling and pronunciation of my name. Although I correct her every time, she still does it. Oh how I hate when people... I just hate people.

Have you ever met someone that made you feel so young, so fresh, so new? And this is your very first meeting. Make you think to yourself, damn I want to run into you every day of my life. Until that scene gets old, boring, lame. Why are you still here, with that tired ass look, every damn day? Oh if every relationship could be new again. How do marriages last? I need to know! I mean we all know how they fail. But who really knows how they last years and years? Anniversary after anniversary? I must research. Ask all the couples I know. Even though I expect every encounter to be a different route to the same outcome, I need to be preparing myself for marriage because I will be married sooner than you guys think. Oh yes I will. Or at least I better be! Uh Oh, Is that strike 1? That's what they say, threatening him into marriage... darn it. I want to know all the secrets to make it work. If any of my readers are married, please share the good word with a sista. Impatiently...

I want to do so much. I want to do so much with myself, with my friends, with my family. I have a few years until I turn 30. Just typing that made me shake my head. Who thinks of being 30 when they're 13? Ok I haven't been 13 in a while but I'm not ready to be 30. Am I? In my mind that age comes with a lot of responsibilities. I mean true I am already a mother, so I have responsibilities that a lot of people don't yet have but I also know people younger than me who have more going on than I do. I could have more going on too... why don't I? What will I have going on at 30? My daughter will be school age so I will have to teach her how to behave, how to respect others and most importantly how to respect herself. Will her Dad be around when I'm 30? He is younger than I am so it's hard to say. He may just be finding some sense and I may be too far advanced to help him fill in the blanks. I mean I already have my kid. I've never been the one to w...

This post took no survey at all. We as women should know what turns men on and what turns them off. This is my perception. I am merely a girl... with a pen and a thought. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. 9 types of Women that Men just can't stand (in order of importance) 9. Natural Nancy Hi my name is Natural Nancy. I am the used to be ghetto girl with the side pony all of 27 inches who just decided to go natural because everyone else is doing it. It looks so cute on them so why not try it? Well Natural Nancy, you shouldn't try it because yo' hair nappy as hell! Your name should be Nappy head Nancy because no matter how hard you try to doctor that crap, it will never look as good as the other girls. Let them do them and you do you! Being natural is not for everybody and it won't be good for your relationship because no man wants to go out with a woman who's bald fade looks better than theirs. 8. Narcissistic Nancy Hey! Oh don't act like you...

I need to get back to reading books! My best friend Cergio has been reading the Harry Potter books for the past 17 months now. Go ahead and laugh, I sure do, but actually the fact that he is carrying around a paperback book on his own free will is very commendable. I was in his car a couple of months ago and I saw it. It made me envious, I used to read books. Who knows when was the last time I sat and read a paperback book. It's so easy to be caught in the distractions of the many websites once you get on a computer or swayed by the tablet era to download the book on your ipad but my best friend is doing a good dead. He is a Dean at a grade school so him carrying that paperback book could encourage his kids to grab one and be just like him. While we're at it, lets get back to hand written letters and face to face conversations. There so many places we can go from here and it all starts with the good ole black and white, hold the paper cuts.

I was listening to the radio with my Dad last week and I, of all people, shook my head at the ridiculousity that is getting radio play. I told him that I felt sorry for my child because I can only imagine how terrible music will be when she is a teenager. My Dad said they won't even be singing/rapping then. They just gone get on and say "tweet me, text me; tweet me, text me." Sad case indeed. He then went on to say that there will still be R&B, Blues and Jazz and I honestly begged to differ. Who is making music like that right now? Not nobody! There is no Keith Sweat, Johnny Gill and Gerald Levert of my generation and there damn sure won't be any for my daughters'. Although Tyrese, Ginuwine and Tank tried to duplicate LSG with TGT, neither one of the groups had any success after their debut song. LSG's was My Body, what was TGT's? Exactly. These poor children will never feel the way we felt when we first heard the hottest slow jam or even better, ...

There is a such thing as constructive criticism, but most often than not, the person giving it is not constructive enough and the person receiving does not want to be criticized. I was told something last night that would probably hurt most people but it only made me stronger. I mean it hurt for a few seconds but after the anger was released I was so much stronger because of it. My daughter's father is a very attractive man. A few of my girlfriends beg to differ (or at least they say they do but you can never trust a woman around your man), but I see with my own four eyes the way women of all ages act when he's steps into a room. It's mildly hhilarious if you ask me but to a different type of woman, being in that type of environment every time you go somewhere is tiresome and could be a blow to your self esteem. It was a blow to my hustle. Yesterday, he and I had a conversation about his new girl, my new guy, our new things. He showed me a photo and I laughed at the s...

How many of you are still afraid of your parents? More specifically your mothers? Well I am. Very afraid of my mother, what she will say and especially what she would do if I were to do certain things that I know she is against.  One of those things at the top of her list is, sleeping in the same room, bed, sniffing distance of my boyfriend. I had this conversation a while ago with my roommate and I have had it plenty of times with my daughters father. This is so written in stone, it's not even a thought in my mind to question the authority of the lady no matter what the situation, who the boyfriend. If we are not married, it won't be happening. Shucks, I'm scared to even ask about sleeping in the same bed as my husband while in her house, she'd probably still say no! My roommate, along with many others, thinks it should be okay if you already have a child together. She said, "we're not going to do anything with our son in between us." My daughter...

Something that has really been bothering me lately are the inconsiderate actions of men. I have come to realize that a man, when you first meet him, is really nonchalant. Down for whatever but not sweating nothing at the same time. That changes once you take the step into some kind of liking or once they realize that their like for you is not being reciprocated. Then they like you more, because you are a challenge, a mystery, something to look forward to. That all changes for the worse once they get you, once they have successfully switched the tables on you and begin to play for to the left so that you can chase them. This is where we mess up ladies! This is where we should continue to play field, if we for some reason had stopped because of this one. This is when you need to show rather than tell that "although you have my attention, so does a few other guys so pull back if you want and I just might be unattainable once you decide to come back." If we fail to implicate ...