Because I said so

Just a few years ago, I would cringe at the term "baby mama," Today, I embrace it. It is what it is and I am who I am.  You have to live your life and roll with the punches. I never thought I'd be a baby mama. I'm more of the wife, fiance, girlfriend type. Or so I thought. Life is just not the fairy tale you dream it to be when you are eight years old in your big cousin's tiara and your mother's high heels. I wish I could go back. I would say "self," my self would say "huh." And then I would lay it on thick... "Little Aerial, these boys only want one thing and one thing only. Your heart! So they can break it." Can I get an Amen? "Protect yourself little Aerial. Protect your cookies. Protect your heart. Or else be the best baby mama you can humanly be, like me." I love my baby. Love her to the death. Do you hear me? I am with her every single day! She needs for nothing. And once she start to talk, she wi...

I've never been the outwardly sexual type. I don't dress slutty. I don't send naked pics. I don't go to bachelorette parties. I'm like NeNe Leakes from The Housewives of Atlanta. It's just not my scene. Some things should just be for me to know and for him to find out. Behind closed doors. In private.  That's it that's all. It does not excite nor entertain me to read about someone else's smutty escapades. It more grosses me out if anything. Some things are better left on the shelf.

Dear Mr. Jones, Man how time flies. I was a couple months pregnant when I last saw you. We couldn't talk much because your big ugly ass baby mama was hawking, but oh how I miss thee. Wait, umm, did I just throw shade on your baby mama? I'm sorry. Actually I'm not. That's what you chose. Instead of me. Remember? Remember when we used to talk about building a family together? We were so young and in love. Now look at us, grown ups, parents... miserable. Remember when you broke my heart? No? Oh you're right, it happened a few times. I was always one to give a second, third, fourth chance. I remember when you first told me about this girl. It was impromptu. She was outside of your apartment, she was kicking dents into your back door, she was throwing bricks through your car windows... you were breaking my heart. Before then? I vaguely remember our conversation. You said you were going out with G, having drinks, celebrating life. So you went out, you got d...

When you have no other choice, what choice do you choose? You only have one life to live so that means one life to loose. When the reality sets in that this is all you got, Do you grab hold of the ball and take your best shot? Or do you crawl up, ball up and tuck in your tail? For fear of the unknown, for fear you may fail? When you have no other choice, the choice should be clear. Push away the nay sayers, break away from the fear. Make your choice, though it may not be wise, Choose with your heart and not with your eyes.

I know the good Lord will strike me down for saying this, but I love the new season of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. There are many many reasons why I should not but the reason why I do far exceeds any social standard or racial disgrace. I love it simply because I can relate. Not many of you know this but I have an seriously dysfunctional relationship with my child's father. It is so bad that we can not stand to live in the same state because all we do is fuss and fight. We hate each other immensely but we have a child together so we are forced to interact from time to time. He started off as a bad boyfriend that I should have deaded in the beginning but you know how those bad boys are so he turned into my bad baby daddy, and now here we are. Now this is the clean version but chop it up and screw it round and you have Stevie J and MiMi. If that relationship ain't a dirty mirror image of us, my name ain't what it is. Now for those of you who know me, the ONLY difference...

I have been doing a lot of cleaning, reorganizing and restructuring of my things and I came across an old calendar book from high school. Looking through it made me realize how fun of a childhood I had and how much I have changed. I was obsessed with The Backstreet Boys and my girlfriends Adrian, Renita and LaKendra. That was pretty much all my calendar book was about, them. It was fun to relive those moments and rediscover the love that I have for them. Amazingly they are still in my life today and I don't thank them enough for making me smile both then and now. Thanks girls. Love you all.

When I was a sneaky little teenager, my Father told me that, "No matter if it's done in the dark, nothing is secret, there is always someone who sees you." I have always believed him when he said that and I am now applying that to my adult life, and other adults in my life for that matter. Last week I saw a friend, a friend that I can tell anything to and not think twice about the security of the information. A friend that I would call on for advice or help or just to make me laugh. It is a male friend, one that I see as just that. I'm going to talk a little slang on the next part so hopefully you keep up. Ok so we kickin it, laughing, having a good time when all of a sudden he tries to get all slippery on me. I had to readjust my face and pull back the reigns. Whoa whoa whoa... ummmmmm? First of all no. Secondly, what would make you think...? And third of all but certainly not in order of importance, I am a single mother! All frivolous activity have come to a co...

Okay class, lets get straight to it. This is Text Message 101 so take out your mobile devices and listen carefully. Rule #1: Keep it light, keep it simple. If you're writing a book, write it! Don't be sending me a broken up seven message story. It's freaking rude first of all and secondly it defeats the purpose of a text message. Merriam-Webster defines a text message as: " a short message sent electronically usually from one cell phone to another." Key word kids: SHORT. #2: Do not use texting for messages that can be misinterpreted. If you get all serious after they have made a joke, don't get mad when they respond with an "LOL," how did they know you switched it up and got touched? Don't text sarcastically or emotionally, the reader will never be able to identify which is which. The emoticon can not replace emotion, your voice is still the key.  #3: If you have a new phone number, identify yourself! Start the message with "Hi thi...

Dear People Next Door, No not neighbors, people next door. You all are so rude, loud and ghetto that I am sure the man you are renting the house out from will kick you out on the street where you belong. And clearly the fence that you were banging on that one day when my child and I were trying to take a nap, did not work because instead of keeping you negros inside it,  those bad ass children of yours are always frollicking outside of it. All in our backyard cursing each other out. Who in the world knew a kid, who looks all of six years old could have a rotten mouth like that!? But then again, her mother, who I have seen way more of than I need to, isn't the Saint that she could be. I heard her pot mouth only after seeing her hind parts as she exited the car one sunny day. Too bad her pants were a size two small otherwise if they were too big I am sure to have seen more than pay per view allows. Please keep your domestic situations under control because my daughter and I ...

Hey friends, I need some new friends. Some new people to follow on twitter, a new book for my Kindle, some new blogs to read, you know... some new shit. You know what I mean. I am very much enjoying my life with my family but these friends of mine... they need a facelift fast! My ride of dies are in Chicago and I don't frequent the city enough to have their presence keep a lasting impression. My college girls are all around the Midwest but they are too rich for my blood, always trying to vacate somewhere. I only have a handful of Atlanta friends (who are not from Atlanta) but I be so tied up with  my little plum face that I don't even have time for them. I need to put out an ad or get on one of those mommy websites so I can find a person my age, with my schedule and a crawling kid like mine and set up a play date. Now if y'all don't hear from me in about a month, call them folks!!!

Why do you think I love you less just because I forgot your birthday? Look, I'm sorry that my Mother raised us in a household where birthdays and holidays don't run our world. To my Mother, every day is an opportunity to show her that we love and appreciate her. Do the dishes before she asks you to, it's Mother's Day. Do the dishes before she gets home from work and it is now her very own Christmas day. It doesn't take much to please my Mother and it shouldn't take much to please you! Sure, I thought your birthday was today instead of yesterday, sue me. There are people that I am weeks and even months off. And believe it or not, there are some people who I have no earthly clue, one being my best friend Lakendra, but don't tell her... because she already knows. I miss it every year but she knows that I love her no less. It's just not my thing. Birthdays, monies and telephone numbers... actually numbers in whole. I'm a words person. So here is ...

I am learning so much about myself now that I am a mother of a beautiful baby girl. I am trying to identify my attributes and my flaws so that I will know what to and what not to teach my child. She may be growing faster than I am learning these important things about myself but she is also helping me grow. It takes a very strong woman to raise a son but it takes an even stronger one to raise a daughter. Some people may think this task is an easy one but for an unwed, under appreciated and unemployed woman, it is the hardest thing in the world to attempt to teach your daughter the importance of being married, of having personal and financial success although you don't quite have those things. We as parents, regardless of what we have been through have to teach our children the fundamentals of life. But we mothers must inform the future mothers of the world, our daughters, the sacred bond and necessity of marriage and monogamy, of love within oneself, of the focus and dedicatio...

I am friends with enough men to know that they hate getting the "we need to talk" text because they always perceive that to mean that they have done something wrong, when in fact that is not always the case. Men, I would like to let you in on a little secret... against the wishes of my female counterparts, but what the hey: Here is the reason why women send vague text messages. Women have a specific reason behind every single teeny weeny, itsy bitsy mundane action that they do. Let's focus specifically on those vague and alarming text messages. The "we need to talk" text or the "wn2t txt" as I call it, is sent to get your mind racing on what you did, what you could have done, what you used to do and what you will do as a result of this upcoming conversation. Women like to send those texts when you are not around, when we have not spoken to you in a few days or ideally when we are on good terms. Sending the wn2t txt when you two are on bad terms wil...

Tampico Tampico: That distinct mixture of cheap orange drink flavor and hella sugar that only a hood kid would love. Try it some times, it is really good My daughter's stinky toes: I don't know how a person so little could have toe jam so serious but I pick her little stubby toes clean everyday and I enjoy it The smell of a banana peel: I really enjoy the scent of a just eaten banana peel just laying around my room. It is so delicious smelling An old school blackberry: You know the one, the big square one with the scroll on the side. Dang I wish those were back in style. Maybe I can resurrect them... nah nevermind I have an iPhone and if you don't have an iPhone... well you know the rest.  Patterns: My closet holds an abundance of pastel colored flower shirts. My roommate says that I dress like an old lady but I think the style is more earthy and calming Firm over soft: A brand new firm pillow I would squeeze and love to death. I would take a firm couch o...

I used to have a best friend I have no clue where she went Maybe I went somewhere and she is frantically looking for me I doubt it because even though I am where I am, when I am where she is I look for her so if we were both looking for each other we should have found each other by now right? But we haven't We've only managed to make ourselves farther and f a r t h e r apart We used to be so close I don't love her any less or at least I don't think I do but I do miss her and I am upset that we've let our relationship come to this distant almost non existent path Maybe I should call more maybe I should email her, send her a letter, maybe just shoot her a text Is it my pride that won't let me do it because I feel as if she should be calling me Maybe she feels the same way Now calling...

Man you guys, my daughter is getting so big. It's unreal. I mean I knew it would happen but how does it happen so fast. She is so alert, so busy, so greedy. I only wish my family could be around every day to see her evolving into this little lady. I said I would never live in Chicago again but my daughter not being around my family is really tearing me up. There shall be changes made real soon. Stay tuned.

Today was the last day of Boot Camp. I am happy yet every time I outwardly proclaim my happiness I feel that I should be ashamed of myself. Only a fat and lazy person would be happy that their strenuous yet very beneficial workout regimine is over. That class really did a lot for me. It was my first time working out since being pregnant my first child and it was my first time away from my daughter since she was born. I attended four of the six weeks, which was eight of the eleven classes. And from those eight hour long classes I lost 4.6 lbs, 3.5 inches off my waist and 7 inches from my hips. I didn't join boot camp to loose weight so I am pleased with those 4 lbs, I joined boot camp to drop this baby flab, tone these muscles and fit back into my pre-baby jeans. And by golly dropping those 7 inches from my hips definitely did the trick. I am so amped about that because a person like me, who eats whatever, whenever went half ass in a hard core fitness class and still got results...

Which heart are you? Valentines Day is days away so the stores have been filled with the usual red, pink and white cards, candies, bags and bears. What is a little new (to me at least) is the abundance of the color black. What is not surprising is that the selection of masculine Valentines Day items are in major demand and sell out way faster than the pinkest of the pink items. Now that of course is because of two main reasons: The women gifts come in a much heavier shipment and men buy gifts at the very last minute. That is the few men who don't dump their girlfriends before the "holiday." Bet you didn't know this my faithful Chicago friends, Sweetest Day (or Sweeties Day as I call it) is not known outside of the midwest. Yep, me and all my Chicago friends were at work saying Happy Sweetest Day and these Georgian's had no clue what we were talking about. Sweetest Day was founded October 8, 1921 in Cleveland, Ohio by Herbert Birch Kingston who was a local c...

There are many things that make up a good woman. I believe these five C's are the Cream of the Crop, pun intended. 1. Cook , said the woman who doesn't know how to cook. I love the idea of cooking and I know men do too. I would love to learn how to cook and I will, as soon as I get my own place because I damn sure ain't burning down someone else's pad. I once improperly cooked a frozen pizza... as an adult! But that's neither here nor there. Every woman should know that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. 2. Clean. We all know that men are messy and lazy so a woman who is messy and lazy would only result in a house full of mold, funk and insects. Clean the dishes after you cook, make the bed every morning, wash and fold the clothes ... if that ain't a catch I don't know what is. 3. Cheese. This one is an easy one for me because I love to smile. There are so many things to smile about. You being pleasant will put him in a ...

We go through lessons in life to build us into this better, smarter, wiser more experienced person but sometimes we fall victim to stupidity that blocks ourselves from taking that lesson and turning it into the learning experience. For instance, if you are in a bad relationship with someone who you KNEW were bad for you in the get go, the lesson should be to try until you can try no more, go through the rough and ugly breakup, hurt... TERRIBLY and learn from the mistake of choosing to date someone that you KNEW were wrong from jump street. Learn from the mistake of going hard for someone who were not going hard for you or your relationship. Learn from the rough and ugly breakup that you should never leave yourself that vulnerable. Learn from the time spent that you could have been doing so many other things with your life and since you're not getting any younger, make the best out of your life while you are young and beautiful. That's what SHOULD have happened and from that you...