Because I said so

Today my daughter gave me the works. She cried all day, for no darn reason. All in my ear, louder than a mickey fickey. Hey friends. I've missed you. It's not that I was on strike from writing, I was just allowing myself and you good people to enjoy your holidays without the pressure to run to a computer and check me out (smiles). But this child... on this day... whew. I needed her Daddies help today but he works at a night club so he thinks he is supposed to sleep all day. Anywho, how was your Christmas? Mallory got way more gifts than I thought she would but way less than I wanted her to. Her Dad bought her Christmas gifts a while ago but in transit from New Orleans to Atlanta he ran off the road into a ditch and wrecked his car causing us to loose everything in it. So it was great to still be able to celebrate his life and her first Christmas after such a horrific event. I can only hope that your New Years will be all that you wish as I end mine with my closest Atlanta frien...

What are the three things you want your ideal mate to have? Being in a relationship is hard work. You have to maintain a life of your own while incorporating this new person and all of their ways, likes, dislikes, habits and beliefs. If you have had your fair share of relationships you should know by now what you want your ideal mate to be like. Now I'm not talking about the typical "I want a tall, dark and handsome" or the "He must be kind and considerate" answers. I'm talking real life stuff. I think I'm pretty simple. 1. I would like a thinker. A man who is willing to sit and weigh the pros and the cons of a situation before diving in head first. I have been in relationships where the guy acts or reacts so abruptly that he surprises his damn self and that's a damn shame. You should know what you are capable of and you should know what result will come from the things that you do way before you do them. I can't take a man who will...

I have a secret... You don't know what it is. But you already know what it's about. You just don't know that you know. Well I'll give you a clue. It's a she. Her name is Mal. And I want her all to myself. The less people know about you, the less they can hurt you, so I want to keep the most important person in my life all to myself, for fear of going to jail behind her. I have not introduced her to Facebook because lets be honest, Facebook has gotten out of hand. It used to be fun, now everybody and they grandpaw on it, soliciters, weirdos and worst of all nosey ass, messy ass people. People that you wouldn't want in your immediate life... so why would I want to throw my precious little pumpkin face in the mix? I DON'T! And you guys know me. You know that I love me some pictures honey. But there is something that I love sooo much more than my hobby and I want to cherish every minute with her because it's personal, it's private and she deserves her e...

I have this one ex friend who is in love with a new broad every month. The man can't be alone for even the slightest second. He would conclude his breakup with one woman by crying in the arms of another woman. I have known him for all of two years and he has been with maybe five mains that I have met and 20 of them behind the scenes. He's a pretty boy heart breaker and it's sad because the real heartbreak lies within himself. He masks the pain that he has self inflicted by surrounding himself with beautiful women all the time. And he really goes all in. Only a lame would want to be in fake love so darn much. Can't you start with loving yourself? Once that daunting task is complete he will in turn find the one to truly share his love with. Or so the story goes. Until then he will continue being the needy, greedy, lonely but never alone, lame ex friend of mine.

So how many of you all have been in a relationship where there was a major age difference? Was it better if you were younger or older than your partner? My mother always told me to get a man older than me so I could be taken care of, but I was never into older men. There are many occasions where one would wish they had a young hot tender or maybe an old sugar daddy but living everyday like that... nothing that I would recommend to my worse enemy. You fight about the things the younger man does, the things they older man wears and always how they were raised, be them young or old. After college I decided to do things a little different and listen to my mom for a change. I met a few older guys in the club and at work and I gave them a second of my time, allowing them to take me out to dinner but it was never more than that because I was simply not interested. I just did it to say I had done it. I hated being seen with an older man because I didn't want to look like I was usin...

So I went to this church yesterday for the second time since moving back to Atlanta. The very first time I went, I was pretty impressed at the abundance of people, especially young people up bright and early for the Lord. But with yesterday being my second time there, I see why I liked it so much the first time and why all the young people gather there week after week. They dilute the good word with the glitz and glam. Now I am in no way trying to be struck down by lightning nor am I trying to discredit the church for their hefty turnouts but I am saying that golf cart rides from the parking lot to the front door, a cool cafe and a kids play room would sway favor from the best of them. And don't get me started on the service... smh, lets just say it is a drastic change from the quiet, organized hymn singing, Bible based word I grew up on. There was a live band, composed of young adults singing three VERY LOUD and interactive gospel songs before the preacher jumps on stage with his ...

Today is my home girl Shana's birthday. Two years ago today I was on my first date with this little light skinned number that I now call my boyfriend. Two years and two days ago I met my him in the club. The day that I consider to be our anniversary. And although we neither celebrate or even acknowledge the day, we were together for it this year. I remember it as if it were yesterday... I had taken Shana out for her birthday, both of us still fairly new to Atlanta. Took her to Pearl Bistro and Bar for two dollar Tuesdays. I saw this yellow boy in VIP. He had a colorful plaid shirt and he seemed very reserved compared to his counterparts who were standing on sofas and what not. The trickery I tell you. Because he is definitely the bad seed of that bunch... Now two years later we have a beautiful baby girl. Even more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. So I owe Shana, even though I was the driver that night, she was clearly the reason for the outing and the reason that I have ...

I think we're going to treat this thing like a full time job. I will post every weekday and on the weekends you will just have to miss me... unless I post small things that are on my mind for that day. I don't know yet family, I'm still getting back into the swing of writing on a regular. I must admit that I am enjoying you all, your time and your comments so don't fret, I will return. Have a good weekend. See you on Monday!

I had a nice fluffy, positive post in mind for today, but my positive thoughts were bombarded by negativity that I know will hit home for all of us: liars. I put emphasis on liars and not the actually lie itself because usually it isn't the words that hurt you, it's how the liar said it, what they lied about or the mere fact that they needed to lie in the first place. I'm sure everyone would agree that little white liars aren't that bad. It's when they turn into bald face liars that you start to regret allowing them to lie to you in the first place. The type of liar that will look you square in the eye, with the straighest of faces and lie. The type of liars that won't admit the truth until you catch them dead in the middle of a lie. Them reckless, tasteless, tacky ass liars...

Now people I have said a few times here, on Facebook and on twitter that matching braws and draws are super important to me as it is a reflection of who you are as a person. I have really took some time to sit down and evaluate the severity of the situation and I find that women who care if their finger nails and toe nails are matching would definitely care if their undergarments are matching. That is unless you are a fronter and stunner whose outside appearance is only for catching men when clearly the lack of camaraderie in the undie department shows just how unsuccessful you really are. Now the great pantie and bra debate begins with this question: Do you buy your underwear from Victoria Secret or from Burlington Coat Factory? If you tend to be the Vicky's shopper then you know that a lot of the separates can be mixed and matched, that is if you are not into buying the set initially. If you are a bargain retail shopper then Marshalls, Target and BCF are your best friends with th...

As I slowly inch up in age, the thought of marriage creeps closer and closer to the forefront and being the blunt and inquisitive person that I am, I have come to a clearer understanding as to why men are not just on another page but in a whole different library all together. Before I get into the nitty gritty, let me start by saying that there is a slight difference in younger men and older men until the older man is divorced, then they are once again in the mindset of the young man. This post is strictly based off of the mind of a young man via the mind of a young woman. 5. No peer pressure: There are very few social pressures to get married. No one is buzzing around in the ear of a little boy pressuring him to be a good man when he gets older so he can find and marry a good woman. Women are informed of marriage from the very beginning and are often pressured by their mothers, grandmothers, the old lady from church and even taunted by younger women who have married before them. Since...

Are you down for a reason or just down for the cause? I used to think that leaving a bad relationship was being a quitter and that if I stuck it out I could possibly fix whatever was broken when in reality the best solution to a problem is to eliminate an aspect. Whether that aspect be eliminating something in the relationship or eliminating the relationship entirely... it just has to happen. One has to ask themselves if they are really down for a reason or if are they just down for the cause.

Everyone will always have an opinion about how you should raise your child. I knew this before having mine and I'm going to know it in more detail if I continue to have more children. Last week someone told me not to lay my daughter on her belly to sleep because she could suffocate herself. The week before that someone told me not to lay my daughter on her back because she could choke on her saliva or throw up. I believe both of these statements to be true but you have to choose one, so which one do you choose? What's even more irritating is when you have different child rearing tactics than your significant other. It can be so frustrating to want to please someone by doing it their way when you know good and darn well your way is better. Sometimes you just have to let the baby cry their ears off before they would ever listen to your suggestion or just say to hell with it and take you, your beliefs and your baby elsewhere. "Take that, take that," I say in my Diddy voi...

If the good Lord didn't bless me with such a beautiful and healthy baby I would still be one of those hard-asses who despises parents that spoil their children and snarl at the sight of a child throwing a temper tantrum in public. But, as I come to you tonight, typing this very post with one hand because my spoiled baby is in my other hand, I sadly admit that I finally understand the saying "It's different when it's your own." Although I would never intentionally harm my God son or any of my siblings for that matter, I have to admit, I have been a little hard on them simply because I hate bad kids and I would (normally) do anything to make them strong and selective in their reason for crying. But now as I am going into my 10th week of being a first time mother to an uber spoiled baby girl, I can't imagine punishing my child with my strict beliefs simply because her father and I have spoiled her. In my defense though, the doctor said "breastfed babies tend...

So she's here. My little angel is here to show me what it is to really live and appreciate life. She is two weeks old.. It feels like forever because I've been breast feeding. Oh the wear and tear on my poor breasts. I feel the pain for not only breast feeding mothers but also women with big boobs as I am forced to buy larger bras, as I feel the strain in my neck and the aches in my back. Having big boobs are not at all what it's cracked up to be. I can't wait to introduce her to a bottle. A bottle full of breast milk of course but a bottle none the less. My poor body needs a break I tell you. Her name is Mallory. She was born at 11:56pm, right before midnight just like her mommy. She weighed 6lbs 13ozs and was 20ins. Now she is 8lbs 13ins. Can you believe she gained two whole pounds in two weeks!? Crazy right? She is gorgeous. She looks just like... Both of us lol. I just stare at her. Watch her nibble my boobie until she falls off to sleep. Then she starts to smile as...

I used to be such a writer I used to be an avid reader I used to be so skinny Boy how things change I used to be a workaholic Before that a shopaholic Now I can't wait to drop this load so I can be an alcoholic I used to be so passionate I used to know so much Now I just don't care Maybe it's the hormones

It feels so good to be pretty again. I have going through a rough stage in my pregnancy because instead of caring about myself and my appearance, I have been far more concerned with my health and my baby. I of course don't regret that but by gosh it sure is refreshing to be typing yall the word from my hot pink and freshly manicured fingernails. My toes are smooth and hot pink as well. Eyebrows are clean although they are little too think for my taste, beggars darn sure can't be choosers. All I need right now is a hairdo. I had been planning to get micro braids for the baby shower and delivery of the baby, but that idea is farthest from my mind as I am sporadically reminded of the pain of tugging on my brain and the numbness my poor tushy will feel. I just don't know what to do now but I have to act fast, as I preparing for travel, yet again. I only have six more weeks people, yay Mallory!

Sometimes when I am bored and un-enthused I blog search Today's blog search led me to this wonderful discovery It's not kindergarden it's kindergaten! The first kindergarten in Hungary was founded on May 27, 1828 by the countess Theresa Brunszvik in her residence in the city of Buda under the name of Angyalkert (Angel garden). I'm glad I found this out before becoming a mother. Thanks to The Felter Family

Instead of the typical "baby book" that I have already started to make for my child, I will alternate non eventful days with letters to her, like what I was thinking about her, what she was doing, how she looked and of course I will have pictures :) I got this idea from a blog I just passed by La Buena Vida and I was really inspired. All I have to do is buy another baby book for her, I have all of the materials. This time I think I will buy a spiraled one so the book will have some room to breath with all the things I plan to glue and stick in it. That just made me think of going to the bookstore and hanging out in the maternity section, just to get some knowledge and a new scene... yeah... but not with this hair. I have to wait till this weekend to see if I get enough ends to get these ends clipped or better yet, get some micro's. But it may be too early for the micro's. I should wait until the baby shower September 24 so they will be fresh. Then mayb...

It would seem that since I am knocked up and out of work that I would be talking to you guys a whole lot more but the only things on my mind are baby related. I feel like no one would care about my and my pregnancy stories because quite frankly, when I wasn't pregnant, I didn't care about yours. A good journalistic male friend of mine said he would rather hear about my pregnancy stories than my relationship stories lol, so here goes: Pregnancy Scares Woe to the easily queasy mothers who can't stand to change a diarrhea diaper (Lisa) or who would later throw up at the sight of bright pink and never ending baby throw up (Lisa) As I embrace the lessons that I learn from my 18 month veteran roommate Lisa, I count down the days to which I will be held responsible for my own little snot nosed rascal My Godson has so much character, much like his parents, that I sometimes dread to see the monster-piece that he and I have created But other days I am overly exc...

Only weak people hold grudges If it's old, let it be over with, let it go Everything happens for a reason There is a lesson in every mistake You live another day It's very likely that you'll make a new mistake But never the same Never again Today I'm letting go Making room for my blessings Today I'm letting go

When will he learn that being parents is like being partners? Being in a relationship means we are equal to one another. Being in love means we not only give shit but we also take shit. When will he learn that practice makes perfect, not redundancy? Giving up is no longer an option at this point. Giving your all doesn't leave you empty handed because your getting my all in return. When will he learn that things are meant to be discussed? It's not your way or the highway because you are no where near perfect. It's not abnormal to have something to say a response to what you just said. When will he ever shut his mouth and open his eyes? When will he ever listen AND understand? When will enough ever be enough? When it's too late?

Today I turned 26. On my 26th birthday, my child turned 25 weeks in the womb. I celebrated the day before so today was for relaxation and reflection. I have accomplished a lot in my 26 years but it took this last year to show what I was really made of. My Aunt Valencia called and said I'm almost 30. Lol. I just turned 26 and now I'm 30. I remember when I was turning six, turning 13, turning 21. I thought about all those birthdays today. I thought of what my 27th birthday would entail. I will be a mother then. Wow. I will be somebodies mother. This year I celebrated in New Orleans, LA. Last year I celebrated in Atlanta, GA. Year before that I celebrated in Carbondale, IL. Hopefully I will be in Florida next year. Today I turned 26. I don't feel 26. I just started settling into 25 a couple months ago and now I'm 26. Thank God for allowing me to see another year. Happy Birthday to me :)

Why is being in a relationship so hard? Why can't everyday be a replay of the first time we met? Talking on the phone all night, trying to set up dates for the next day. Asking questions, getting answers. Learning. Sharing. Having fun? Why what was once a choice is now an obligation? What was once fun is now mundane. What was once pure is now tainted. Puppy love tainted by rough and powerful, full of emotions and heartache, attached at the hip but head turned the other way in disgust love. What happened to fun aerial? Strong aerial? I'm right and never wrong aerial? Why was she fired and replaced by take everything too serious aerial, cry to get my point across aerial, whiny voice and permanant sad face aerial? Where was she at all along? I never remember meeting her before. Did she even come in and apply for the job or did you just conjure her up to put in place of me? Of course you didn't. She was always here. Just buried. Out of season and for a reason. I think it's ...

So I have been contemplating this whole baby thing. Like man, who will this kid be like because Daddy and Mommy are soooo similar that one more of us will definitely be too many egos in one household. Hopefully he/she gets some of their aunt and uncle in them: have a little tack and reservation. Or hopefully some of their grandparents: lively and interesting. I had been calling my child a he the whole time. Not necessarily wanting a boy over a girl, it was just default. We just found out yesterday that he... is... a she! Daddy wanted a girl. He was so happy he began to cry. This is already such a wonderful experience.

Why do my "Don't ever call me again"s really mean "You better call me right back"? Why can't we mean what we say and say what we mean? Why are we even mean at all? Isn't love supposed to be good, fun and wholesome? Well then why do we get the good, the bad and the ugly? The "oh you think you funny." The partial, most times impartial love? What more can do as women? At one point it was all too much: "Awww, baby you shouldn't have." Then it becomes never enough: "Damn Linda, you know you should have..." It's like finding the right book. The book that just speaks to you, underneath copious amounts of dust and minimal fingerprints. The book that turned up in a vintage wholesale store on Main street. The store that you just so happened to stumble upon as you were walking around wasting time until your next appointment. That book. That find of a book. That guy. That kind of a guy that has you miserably happy and anxiously...

Another bad relationship He can't be faithful to me He has too many girls in his life When will he ever grow up He never keeps his word anymore But now that I think about it maybe he never did He used to pick me up on time Now I don't see him at all I went to change my cell number thinking maybe if he couldn't reach me, he couldn' hurt me I've been trying to live without his lies, all his drama Until one day I gave in, called his phone, but there was no answer Minutes later his baby mama returned the call but didn't say anything She's so immature, always going through his phone She's jealous of our love That's why I can't have a relationship with him It's not that I'm trying to hide our relationship but can we please have some privacy I mean after all He was my man first I just want my Dad back

I'm in Chicago for season two of "treat aerialm like an outsider." This plague has infected my family and last time it didn't really bother me but this time it has. The news of my pregnancy and the meeting of my love him or hate him boyfriend has changed my relationships with my aunts and cousins and I don't like it one bit. I have a big family, a big family dominated by very aggressive and opinionated women. I used to be one of them until I did something that they felt was out of my character, so now they act as if I am foreign land and they must look but not touch for fear of catching the disease that has taken over my land. It's funny because even the silliest and laid back cousin rolled his eyes and smirked his lips when he saw me. But it was his wife, my cousin through marriage that really made me happy. She said "I'm not going to fuss at you like everyone else, I just want to know if everything is alright." Now how pleasant is that? A big a...

Oh how I love my father. I went to Chicago last week to visit my family and my cousin Jimmie began to remisinsce about how much of a Daddies girl I was. Everyone says (and I definitely remember) that when it would be time for my mother to pick me up I would show my tail in the middle of the street. Well on this occasion cousin Jimmie spoke of a time when my mother was showing out in the streets so my Daddy muffed her, she fell to the sidewalk crying, he picked me up and we walked away. Now we would think a normal child would cry for their mother especially since she's laying on the sidewalk, but my cousin said I just yelled "Bye Mommy," waved and left happily with my father. These days are not much different. Although I love my mother dearly, I would rather live in Atlanta, right under my father, than back in Chicago near my mother. It's just something about him that lifts my spirits like no one else can. As many times as he has fell asleep on me during our father dau...

It's hard to enjoy the pain of pregnancy when you're stuck with a cold. A cold that has lasted for a month and has traveled from the temple to the nostril to the throat to the teeth and back to the nostril. I finally told all of my girlfriends and a few of my homeboys. My family says that my immune system is weak because of the pregnancy so this cold is sticking around. Pregnancy: It's pretty exciting but I can't even celebrate because I'm sick. Cough. Cough. Sneeze.

So for April Fools I wanted to tweet that I was pregnant. Of course no one would believe me until April 2cd when I would then say, tricks on you fool because I'm three months! But then I decided that was a little too mean. But I have no other way of telling everyone at once. Guess they will just have to wait to see a picture of me nice and fat or maybe they will figure it out when they get the invitation to my baby shower. Either way, for you, my friends, who check my blog every now and then to see if I posted : I'm pregnant! The End.

This week I learned that I am not all what I am cracked up to be. Someone from my past, hurt me so bad and he only told me his perception of good news. I thought I was one thing, until he showed me I was another. I thought I was strong, I could handle, I could manage. He showed me I was weak, I could break, I could stumble. But why? Why when a person from your past moves on without you, you feel down? Why can't we be happy for that person? After all isn't this what we wanted? Didn't we push him away in the first place? Didn't we want him to move on? Maybe with his life, but not with his love, right? He can't love me, her and their unborn. He has to let someone go, he has to let me go... but why? I thought I was one thing to him, until he showed me I was just another ex. I thought I was stronger than him. I thought I could handle him getting into a relationship with someone else. I mean I was in other relationships. I thought I could manage without his love. He sho...

Usually the things that we are afraid of are the best things for us. I remember when I was in college and my mentor suggested that I sign up for this internship and scholarship. I was so afraid I wouldn't even apply. I thought I wouldn't make it, thought I wasn't good enough, thought everything under the blue moon. He already knew I would procrastinate so he did half of the requirements and submitted the package for me. I was accepted and I still didn't have the heart to do it. It required taking a little time off of school and relocating to another state, I couldn't, right? Thank God for Bill Recktenwald. My internship and scholarship was such a grand experience. It is one of my fondest memories of strong progression in my life. It was such a humbling and positive experience that could have been life changing but once again I was afraid to take that large leap. I am here again... afraid of something that I know I am fully capable of doing. I'm trying to talk my...

I remember when I was in grade school and the snow was up to my waist. There was no sun, no thought about it, just snow. Wintertime Chicago is nothing to play with. Now I'm an adult. In Georgia. And four inches of snow is a snow day. Am I happy? No. I need to get out. I need to work. I need food. Lord knows I can't cook, I eat out everyday! I was cooped inside the house for three and a half days. I was through after the first day believe me. I know that I will not be in this state for too much longer because it's ridiculous how that little bit of snow was not dealt with, became ice and caused the shutdown of a city, road blocks, accidents and the cancellation of 1400 flights in just one day. Sick and sad this state of Georgia is. Just sick and sad I tell ya.

I can't wait to get old. It will be then when I won't give a shit. By that time I should have deleted all non sense out of my life and the few to remain should be grandchildren who I won't give a shit about fussing at because they will be mine. I will move slower and be proud to do so because then and only then will I be able to evaluate things more, see things in a more appreciative light. I can't wait to get old. All the things I do now will wear on me then... like partying maybe because that is the only thing I do in access. And even that I have slowed down on. Hmmm what will pain me when I get old? Won't be drinking, smoking or doing drugs because I don't. Oh! How about texting and typing on this very computer. Yep one day in the not so near future my writing exploits will trouble me :) And I am oh so ok with that. I can't wait to get old. Because then I will be wiser. My children and grandchildren will come to me with their problems and i...

The New Frickin Year is here. Wow 2010 went by fast. My New Years Resolutions (although they are not really resolving anything) are to: 1. Call home once a week 2. Learn how to cook 3. Travel 4. Do more journalism and everybodies favorite: 5. Work out! Wish me luck. Hope to talk to you all soon. Happy New Year!