Because I said so

what is expected what wont you tolerate every woman has a standard he has to be so tall, has to look like someone, should look like something what about the things that he does can he be a smoker even though you dont smoke wont kissing him taste like you have been kissing ashtrays will you tolerate it you will if you love him if you like him a lot if you like him a little who can do what to change how you feel how strongly did you feel about it in the first place did you make these rules just to break them why am I so difficult why cant I just find someone perfect perfect for me whatever that is what is perfect for you and how many imperfections will you tolerate today

Against Policy: Why people sleep with their boss In lieu of the David Letterman extortion case it has came to my attention that some things never change: Young women sleep with older men. But what I never could understand until I worked in the wonderful world of retail is how young women sleep with older men... in the workplace. And if that isn't bad enough, those older men are their superiors. It is a plus if this man has power, if this man has money, if this man has anything that you don't have. The only thing that may be common is ambition. Being with an older man can give power. It makes you feel wanted. It makes you feel like he is taking a risk for you. Off the top, 90% of people would say the younger, low on the totem pole, female wants to move up, she wants power and she wants it the sleazy, i mean easy way. 10% would want to argue that the woman just fell in love with the wrong person, they would probably say you can't help who you love and the more you work with ...

It has come to my attention that people think movie dates are good introduction dates... surprise, they are not! You can't see your date (it's dark), you can't talk to your date (it's quiet) and if you do any of the following things you probably won't see another movie with them. This is step by step guide on how to have a successful movie date. Action! - Do not pick the movie. Do not let me pick the movie. Lets make a random selection or mutually agree because 70% of the time I'm going to want to see a sappy love story and you're gonna wanna see a bloody action movie so lets just go with a comedy. - Don't try to cheat the system while I am in attendance. Buying one adult ticket and one child thinking you're so smart and so slick when you're only so cheap and so busted because I won't corroborate when them people's stop us at the desk. - Always offer something from the concession stand even if you just came from or will be going...

I must write. Write as I never did before. I must learn so I can teach those around me, those closest to me, those I love. I must read, read so I can be knowledgable, smart not smart mouthed, wise not a wise ass. I must share my experiences with those younger than me as my older cousins have shared their wisdom with me. I must keep a journal of my adventures so my children's children can see that I was once grand I was once "on", I was there and they will be grander and "on-er" than ever dreamed because they are descendents of me. And what a marvelous me I am.

As a reporter, I have conquered the skill of listening. It is my recall that needs work. I am really into music. I sing aloud when I am afraid. I want to learn the piano. But it is during silence that the most interesting sounds really come to life. I almost had a full day of silence today. Granted it's only 3pm but I showered in silence, when I am usually accompanied by music. I drove 50 miles in complete silence. Only the conversations in my head and the rolling of the tires graced my ears. An occasional horn and of course a guest appearance from the tapping of my blackberry keypad were added to the otherwise peaceful and quiet drive. On the way home I stopped at a thrift store to purchase some books that someone decided were no longer of any use to them. Books that can now be of new use to me. Books that I can read in my new found appreciation for silence. All I want to hear are the syllables bouncing from the right side of my brain to the left. The pages thinning as I turn the ...

So I just broke up with my ex boyfriend... (don't ask questions just groove with me) because he said I was disrespectful. So I run to my untraditional boyfriend to get a clearer understanding then he agrees that I am disrespectful at times. I never knew I could be such a thing. I'm a grown woman! Who can I disrespect but old women? The very next day I'm slick talking (as usual) and my untraditional boyfriend gets really upset at me and I am totally floored. Wowee maybe I am just as terrible as boyfriend #1 was saying. Actually all of my boyfriends say I'm terrible. One guy actually called me the devil. I was in high school then... maybe I have gotten worse? I will never find a man on this route. How can I fix myself? Times like this make me think of my mother for some reason. I hated her husband, my sister closest in age did too. We knew he wasn't good for her. She stayed with him for as long as she could. They are divorced now. They would have been sooner if she wo...

I've came to the conclusion that this is as good as it gets. I know lots of women who are waiting on this picture perfect man who will sweep them off of their feet and do everything they have ever dreamed a man to do. I unfortunetly am far from that type of woman. I have really lived an interesting life for a 20 something... but I know I still have a lot to see. I have plenty of places to travel to, a few more foods to eat and whole lotta people to meet. But what I believe will stay the same, are my men. I have this strong feeling that I will definitely marry or spend a significant amount of my adult life with someone I have already met. I don't know too many women that feel this way, from my knowledge they are all searching for that perfect man. But I have faced reality and I see that the time that I have put into building all of my exe's into "my perfect man" will pay off because they have had time to think and mold themselves into the men they need to be to get...

I would like to release my first album entitled "The Soundtrack of my Life." This is Volume A, Track 1, Enjoy. "I'm sending him a four page letter and i enclosed it with a kiss" The most important verse is that written by a woman in love. Length equates to passion on paper. The variation of the calligraphy, perfect print at first to be precise, turns into cursive to be convincing... flirtatious, finally capitals, emphasis, let's be clear. "I was too shy so I decided to write" I would write to all of my boys. ALL of them. As big as my mouth was, I found out that I could never talk as good as I could write. I would think of them as characters, my feelings the theme song and my words the script to which played to a "tee". I could persuade them to do whatever I asked because to me I was being mushy, writing love poems, to them I was sending lyrics, rapping, simply because I was rhyming. "And when I write him he better get it on time...

So my roomie and I were having a conversation a little while ago about when is the best time to show your man the real you. If you have a new guy, I strongly feel as if you should do what he likes in the beginning: Wear your hair down if he prefers it long, silky and smooth or wear your glasses instead of your contacts if he likes the nerd look. Then once the two of you are super comfortable with expressing each others differences you can begin to merge what you like into play. Experience has showed me that the more you open your eyes to things outside of your normal, the more diverse you become. You may have always thought you looked hideous with a side pony but with the right encouragement from him, you stay rocking that side pony and getting mad play. Once you two begin liking the same things you can spring something new on him and make him realize how important is is for him to be open minded just as you were with his requests. It's a win win situation. My roomie thinks otherwi...

*I can't sleep Scenes are playing in my head STOP before it gets too deep I wanna go to bed* I'm thinking random thoughts... This usually happens when I don't have to work in the morning but for some strange reason I keep having this dream (nightmare) that I do have to work. Maybe I just looked at the schedule wrong. "The Queen" (what my friend and I call my mean boss) will call me and say where are you... and what schedule were you looking at because the one I'm looking at says you were supposed to be here at 10 with me." Why is she in my dream anyway? That alone should make it a nightmare. I dreamed of me taking my newborn sister (side note: is a two month old still a newborn?) to the family reunion in Columbus Ohio next weekend then telling my darling little cousins who we call Three the Hard Way not to break her because we can't replace her and her mother would low key attempt to kill me if anything happened to her. Then I thought of her crying A...

So why must people lack so severely in quality customer service? This is my first time working in retail and even I know that it is good customer service to ask if one is ringing debit or credit when swiping their card. If they would prefer the receipt with them or in the bag. If they found everything ok or needed a price check on anything before we got started. I mean these are just simple gestures that can in turn make a person believe that you have good customer service even if you do not. Why oh why do the cashier's at my place of employment eat candy in front of the customers, curse to other cashiers about customers "Girl I got to get the hell outta here because these people have been getting on my nerves," I mean really!? In front of the person who is spending their hard earned money making sure you have a job. Do workers not know that if there were no customers in the store, if there was no business there would be no cashiers because there would be no cash. I mean ...

Howdy folks, This is of course my opinion, no historical fact although I did take a survey amongst my male and female cousins. Thank you all for your help... please enjoy, converse and feel free to comment. --- 5. He's just not that into you Have you ever stopped to think that maybe he just settled for you because your boobs were bigger than the girl beside you or you were just so persistent he wifed you before you became his stalker? Come on girls, you give these guys too much credit. He so does not love the thought of you like we girls dream of. If he did he would never be too far, especially not far enough to cheat. 4. You were not available We as women have to take a little responsibility. If your man calls in need and you neglect to honor his request one night, what makes you think he's not going to get it somewhere else. Think about ladies, every single one of us have said to ourselves, to our girls, to a man we want "I can do what she won't do," so which w...

My favorite picture, 2 days old Getting some color and some length, 1 week old My Chocolate Bar, 1 month old Is it wrong to still have this feeling that she's not really my sister? Why do men wait so long to get the paternity test? I mean the sooner the better because if you're a good man you will be spending time and money during the procrastination time so the sooner you know, the more time and money you can have for your new woman. If you are the opposite of a good man the sooner you know, the sooner you can make up for the valuable time that you missed while you were at your other baby mommas house talking about that aint my baby, he got a big ass nose. Well for now she's mine... and she's so gorgeous, isn't she? My little sister Erin.

CNN has this ongoing "Black In America" investigation and they have a pretty good question on the site this week but I am not feeling the answers people are giving. So I wanna ask my friends, family and passer-byers what they think. You don't have to type in your response, a mental answer will suffice but I would appreciate if you did physically respond because maybe it's just me, I could just be biased because I believe that race relations have improved since the election of President Barack Obama. True his election can not, has not and will not drastically change anything but I do feel a big difference in the camaraderie of the African American race. People are a lot more chipper, a lot more cordial and I know for a fact it has helped the children. African American children have a new role model, out with Soulja Boy and in with Barack Obama. Kids now know a lot more about politics thanks to him and they are in turn teaching their ignorant parents. My roommate went t...

Trifling! How can you complain about a store being dirty/messy/un-organized when you pick your babies nose and put the booger on store merchandise/bump into a rack of dvds then sneak and kick them out the aisle/start off with four shirts but come to the register with one because you have stashed the others sporadically around the store so you can come get them next paycheck. Nasty! Don't hold the bathroom door for me when yo nasty ass didn't even wash your hands. You could have took one minute of all that mirror time to wash your nasty ass paws. And it's always the pretty one's too... Yuck Unreasonable! Don't call the store creating a fuss, loud and cursing when in the end you will need our help. You call and ask a question but don't wait for the response. Then wanna ask for the manager when surprise! you're already speaking to her... these people are so unreasonable! Disloyal! Don't work for me monday, wednesday, friday then call corporate to complain o...

Working in retail, I get to see a lot of strange things. This prompted me to start a series entitled Retail Weirdness. So in this weeks Retail Weirdness we are exposing Shoplifters. I have a super awesome Store Manager who is actually about to quit his great paying job with us and take a yucky paying job as a cop in a county ass hick town just because he's always wanted to be a cop, but anyway he's always ready to catch shop lifters in the store. Lately I have been noticing that a lot of women that steal tend to steal a lot of men clothing and at first I used to think they were dumb, getting caught stealing a shirt and tie for your man to go to court tomorrow. His court date that you won't be able to see him off to because you'll be behind bars for stealing something he could have borrowed. Bet he won't be in there stealing an outfit for you when your court date comes around. A lot of these women steal really expensive name brand items for their man, things that the...

Are you assertive or ashamed? Would you rather be just too-much or just too timid? Do you have enough self esteem? I had a conversation with someone who I knew didn't have any self esteem when I first met her. She used to blow up her significant others' phone when she wasn't around him, used to look a hot mess when she was around him and then when she felt competition... she backed down and bowed out. I thought this person could never last in my world. My world filled with fire, drive and determination. She does not hold these qualities, did she ever? In the conversation, she explained how she did but in her last marriage her husband put her down and killed her self esteem so that now she doesn't even look in the mirror when getting dressed. How sad, how sad? I, 12 years younger, had to school her on building and holding her self esteem, respecting herself so that others will respect you and of course strutting your stuff as if it is the best, the last, the only! How co...

Must watch this! Click the title of this entry "For Really?..." to direct you to another post of the same story. Here is the link if you want to copy and paste it to your browser: http://www.mefeedia.com/entry/video-mother-has-twins-with-two-fathers/18411239 Now yall know she too trifling. I would not have embarrassed myself like this... two guys unprotected within five days, so sad people, we have to do better. If not for ourselves, then for the children. 

don't you wanna be passionate about something? something that not everyone can be passionate about? so we all know that as minorities our options seem to be limited but do we all know that we can do anything as long as we have the mental capacity to do so you have to want to learn  you have to want to be better  better than them, better than that, better than the rest i read so often of people who were in a position to do better than their peers but they were killed by their peers how often do we hear of that in chicago you can get no where in a place filled with hatred  you will get no where in a place filled with hatred i had to get out there are so many people doing nothing in chicago that it made me want to stay away so i can stay doing something  i was so afraid that their doing nothing and being comfortable with it would rub off on me  you have to have a focus, have a dream, have a passion for something it's so easy to let your dreams walk away from you you should know th...

Let's talk about something that everyone needs, no not a big house, a fast car and a couple stacks. I'm talking about a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is one that you take knowledge and wisdom from. One that you have patience and interest in. One that does not mislead or steer you in the arms of evil. Believe it or not, I'm directly speaking of platonic relationships. What happened to that group of girls that you used to have in grammar school. The group that consisted of one of your family members, the girl from around the corner, the girl across the street, the girl who lived in the suburbs, the new girl and yourself. What happened to the lets walk to and from school together, take up for each other in any event and vow to never take each other's man. The good old days... Well now your group consists of you, your home girl from around the way and this girl you really can't stand but have no other choice to be friends with because she is the cousin o...

I can never let love die I won't let it I'm too obsessed with finding it, just the thought of it I love love I don't think I have ever been in love because If I were, I think I would have known by now I've loved many for what they have taught me but there has never been anyone who I'd do anything for, would do no wrong to, couldn't be selfish to or could not fathom the thought of loosing...  wait there is this one guy... something about olives hmmmm

I have been thinking that I have been living the fast life full of fun times, men and money. That was until I got laid off from my job. Then it was a life of fun times and men with money. Now I have my job back and I am feeling the roughest transition ever. All the begging that I did while unemployed was legit so my family helped me but my job is not paying what they said they were going to pay me so now I can't pay any of my bills on time, my accounts are negative and my sanity is far from gone. But all I can really think about are my men, because face it, they are the only things I can control right now. So there is this one guy, I will call him Exhibit A.  Exhibit A has a great job, two cars, two phones, he looks great AND he bought us tickets to go see  Beyoncé  in concert! Only he's not the brightest star in the sky and that should be problem enough for me because I need someone on the same intellectual page as myself. But that's not the killer folks.  This man left m...

So you heard it here first blog family, I'm ready to lean how to cook!  And yes, you guessed right, it's to snab my man.  It has come to my attention that a strong man needs a strong woman.  Yep, who woulda thunk? Well a strong hard working providing man understands that not all women want to stay at home with the children and sew but what they do not seem to understand is a woman who calls herself strong and independent but does not know how to cook for herself let alone her man.  Well I've been that no cooking, strong independent woman and it has not occurred to me until now that those qualities do not mesh very well. Being strong and independent means just that and if one day I do not have the money to buy myself a meal, I would expect my man to, but that is a form of dependency so I think I'm gonna need a few lessons in the kitchen someone because my eyes and ears are wide open now.  I once was blind but now I see.  The answer was always right in front of me.  Oh ho...

I hate him.  I hate him because he lies. If I can hate one single thing ever in life, it would be a liar. Why lie? And to me? Who am I to lie to? I believe that a liar is a coward and I have said this before, if you lie to someone, you are afraid of what they could do to you. I like to pride myself in being a pretty honest person because honesty is the best policy even when it hurts because I would rather be hurt off of the truth than hurt by a lie.  (Shaking my head) I hate him. 

I'm such a slacker! I missed my own one year anniversary for my blog. Now for this Belated Happy Anniversary I will talk about... Ashanti! Remember when Ashanti first came out? Foolish was the video! Do you remember that beautiful, talented and hungry young adult who had us all rethinking our effed up relationships? Her follow-up single was "Happy" and there birthed a series of events that I call "The Ashanti." In that video she danced and in that dance there was a move that involved her touching her hair, hugging herself, then pointing to you. Flip that around and put a little speed to it and you have "The Ashanti." You - Me- My Hair. Search any uptempo songs made by Ashanti and you'll see her signature move over and over and over again. Wanna see? In Slow Motion You can search "Still on It" and "The Way that I" for a more of "The Ashanti" because it's so darn cute. Anyway, the point of this entry is to let you kn...

I have breaking news to share.  I went out last night and it was this heavy set but nice looking young lady walking around the sports bar turn club at midnight. She looked very nice considering the side of town we were on and the normal monstrosities we see walking around. She had a some clean and flashy kicks, a pair of nice dark denim pants, a nice top that fully covered her large breasts, a designer scarf and a nice little weave piece. I would give her an A until she walked past me.  q. How can one merely walk and still make a scene? a. Have a dose of the Georgia mumps and not have any tact. This "nice looking, well dressed, heavy set, young lady" has now turned into a "fat, nasty, stank hoe" as she sashayed her way to the stage with her bright red thong sticking out her pants. Now either her butt was too big (which is not the best choice because a man would say no butt is too big), her pants were too little which is why they were sitting so nicely in the front a...

I talk in my sleep. But only the ones who love me wake up to pay attention. I know there are a lot of things that go on in my mind during the day so I can only imagine what goes on while I am asleep. It's funny how people who hear me talking in my sleep always say I said this and that but I can never relate that to the dream I remember having. A friend told me recently that your dreams or nightmares are the opposite of what will actually happen in real life. I used to have this reoccurring nightmare that my first love would come home married to a little Asian lady simply because he went overseas while in the military. I believe I had just graduated high school at that time so I was pretty much a grown woman but that nightmare made me cry every time. That damned Asian... I remember when I was in grammar school my male cousin who was bigger, badder and two weeks younger than me would climb on the roofs of people's garages and jump off. Since I was a tomboy I would join he and his...

Hey Beautiful People, I hope all has been well, sorry that I have been a blog slacker. I have been writing though, just not here. I decided to give you a little something that I wrote a while back when I was having trouble sleeping. A quick little "love poem" if you will... enjoy.  i sniff  i sigh  i smile  as i see you sleeping  oh-so gently in my borrowed twin sized bed damn i need to get my bed outta storage,  then we could sleep together  because now i just let you sleep. i’ve stayed up all night rubbing you  just so i wouldn’t wake you when you slept  oh-so gently in my borrowed twin size bed. when you pushed me clean off one time  i just curled up on the floor and watched you sleep  oh-so gently in my borrowed twin size bed. you freaked out when i told you how cute you looked asleep said “what the hell girl don’t be watching me”  but it is then when i collect pictures the pictures of you that play in my head when i am sniffing  sighing  smiling,  remembering you sleepin...

"Baby when I used to love you There's nothing I wouldn't do  I went through the fire for you  Did anything you asked me to But I'm tired of living this lie It's getting harder to justify I realize that I just don't love you Not like I used to." - John Legend I am sad to say that the love I used to have for myself had disappeared.  I used to get my hair, nails, toes, eyebrows done EVERY WEEK! I mean I fell off from where I used to be, who I used to be.  I used to care so much about what I thought about myself, I would do these things for me and only me as a reminder to upkeep my beauty at any cost, at all times. I look good for myself... at least I used to. I mean don't get me wrong I can still pull another woman's man on my roughest of days but I don't treat myself right and that my friends is an invitation for other's to try to treat me wrong.  How do you fall back into love with yourself?

if i could write a letter to my child the child that i do not have do not want to have do not see myself having i would write it to inform her of all the trouble she has caused of all the late nights filled with worry and frustration headache and heartache sweat and tears or at least the ones that will come to be i wonder if my mother ever thought about writing this letter to me she had me at seventeen i must have kept her up plenty of late nights late nights filled with worry and frustration headache and heartache sweat and tears if i could write a letter to my child the child that i do not have do not want to have do not see myself having i would paint her a picture of the life i lived the life i live now without her the life i love now without her would i love it still if she were here imposing if i could write a letter to my child... a friend of mine aborted his unborn child today im sure the letter to his child would have been similar to mine he says he can't have girls, he ha...