Because I said so

Happy Holidays everyone. Hide yo' purse, hide yo' wife, hide yo' kids. My roommate and I got our house broken into two weeks before Christmas, they stole all the electronics (except my old big back tv that I bought for a hot $75 in college). I knew I had not upgraded to a flat screen for a reason. How come it always gets so dangerous during the Holidays? Some people are paying it forward, paying for random citizens purchases or lunches. Other people are pulling us back, picking out ski masks and kicking in doors. It's a shame that a person can not be safe in secure in their own home. Thankfully we had just stepped out to go grocery shopping because Lord knows that if I was home I would have ran downstairs like "Whats up?!" and got clocked in my fool head. I don't know why instant danger doesn't scare me. It's afterwards that I wisen up like fool you could have been killed, but in the moment I'ma goon... heads straight to the strange noise ...

Last month one of my friends came to town with his new girlfriend in tow. The last time I seen him in my town he was with his ex girlfriend, who because of him, I had become very fond of. We had all went to college together, him, the ex girlfriend and I, but our paths had really never crossed until she began dating him so I'm all on twitter chatting with her and what not, about how I missed her this last visit and how the new girl was totally... unlike her. She begin to laugh of course and tell me how my friend, her ex, would get me if he knew what I was saying to her. But because twitter is so public, I knew that he would see parts of it and think I was taking cheap shots at his new boo so I decided to give him a call and personally tell him how much I didn't think this new girl was for him. Although she was nice... she, to me, was just not his type. Now let me pause this story to ask a very important question: Who the hell am I? Furthermore, who the hell am I to talk about...

When your shhh is louder than the person making the initial noise. When you play like the check is not on the table. When you take but never give. When you act like you're hot stuff when you really look like hot shit. When you fall asleep while I'm texting you. When I fall asleep while I'm texting you. When you slam the door like a three year old when you're mad. When you talk on the phone while we're watching a movie. When you become overly obsessed with something that you just found out about yesterday. When you lie for no damn reason. When I am in such a rush that I can only paint my big toe and my second toe since those are the only ones to show in these shoes. When you don't give me my credit. When you don't offer your help. When you talk to me like I'm dumb. When you get into a cold car and blast the "heat." The car has to warm up first fool! When I take my hair down before brushing my teeth. I also get toothpaste on my ...

I can not wait to get home to my mother so that she can spend quality Grandma time with my daughter. Every time I go home I am going to pay for us to get pictures taken, one because I love to document life and two because three generations of beautiful women is such a blessing to be apart of. I wish that my Grandmother was alive, I would so take advantage of her wisdom right now. My Great Grandmother is alive and kicking somewhere in Buffalo, New York but I haven't seen her in a decade. That would be a nice family trip... On Mother's Day Jada Pinkett - Smith sat down with her mother, Adrienne Banfield and daughter, Willow Smith to discuss life, pain, fame and family. Yes this is an old event but I recently saw it and instantly loved it. I hope that my mother, my daughter and I could one day duplicate this lovely heart to heart (to heart). Please watch and I'm sure you will too enjoy this clip of Jada's Red Table Talks: Red Table Talks: Jada Pinkett-Smith, Wi...

I hate to hear people say they regret things. I don't regret a single thing. Everything that I have been through, be them good or bad has helped me become the woman I am today. Believe it or not the bad may very well have overpowered the good in some cases because you learn from your mistakes. Everyone needs to fall so that we all know just how cold the floor is. A stumble may prevent a fall but a fall prevents you from taking a second trip down that wet and slippery isle again. You should have obeyed the caution sign but you had to take that walk, now you limping back. Yo' bad. Bet you won't do it again. Mistakes are a must.

You do know that there is a such thing as respectfully cheating, right? Rhetorical. I'm telling you.  Lets be clear, I am in no way condoning infidelity, but if you are in such a predicament please make your best formulated judgement in deciding your future. Is your "partner" being flat out messy, inconsiderate and selfish or if he is respectfully cheating? Does he stay out all night? Has he been walking around the house like a room mate? Do his other women call your phone talking shit? Have you found a pair of underwear that were clearly not yours? Is he taking her to Vegas while you're swiping your bus card? Do you have an STD? No to all of the above? Okay. So if you love him, hang in there dollface, he has potential. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. He'll get tired of the tramps, lets just hope you don't get tired of them before he does. Some men turn random quickies into full blown affairs. Other men just call a one night stand exact...

My daughter has beautiful hair. Not all negro like mine thanks to her Daddy and his multicultural heritage. Not that there is anything wrong with all negro hair but for the sake of my fingertips, I am happy to comb her hair everyday with ease. As she is getting older I am in search for age suitable hair styles. In my search these past few late night hours, I have somehow managed to find more information for my natural hair than hers. Shaking my selfish head. So on that note, I think I am going to try a few natural hair care products for my already natural hair. I have been perm free since senior year of college but I not the no heat natural chick, although I adore (most) of them. I am a girl (as you may have been able to tell from the background photo) but I am not the girly girl who does her own hair. I don't even know how to perform such a thing, so this project is going to be both entertaining, enlightening and educational. I go get my hair straightened once a month but I ha...

One of my "friends" asked me if he should stop loving me because I told him that I didn't love him. I responded "that's your choice." And I wasn't trying to be an ass, I was being as real as I could possibly be. I can't tell you who to love. I can't even tell you not to love me. Your heart is going to do whatever it feels. Sorry if my heart doesn't feel the same way but since love is a two way street, maybe you need to put your locomotive in drive because this spot is reserved and your name is not on the pavement.

The highest form of disrespect is when a person who has been in your life for more than enough time to get your name right, still says and/or spells your name incorrectly. To me that is a slap in the face. It is like saying "Hey whats her face come scrub my ass or pick the gum from my shoe since your so far beneath me." I HATE when people say my name wrong which is why I named my child a simple name. I wanted it to be more simple than that: Amy, Bo, Q. Something short that people shouldn't mess up but probably would. Something simple so she would not have to go through the constant correction that I went through all of my life and still today. There is this one woman in my life who consistently ruins the spelling and pronunciation of my name. Although I correct her every time, she still does it. Oh how I hate when people... I just hate people.

Have you ever met someone that made you feel so young, so fresh, so new? And this is your very first meeting. Make you think to yourself, damn I want to run into you every day of my life. Until that scene gets old, boring, lame. Why are you still here, with that tired ass look, every damn day? Oh if every relationship could be new again. How do marriages last? I need to know! I mean we all know how they fail. But who really knows how they last years and years? Anniversary after anniversary? I must research. Ask all the couples I know. Even though I expect every encounter to be a different route to the same outcome, I need to be preparing myself for marriage because I will be married sooner than you guys think. Oh yes I will. Or at least I better be! Uh Oh, Is that strike 1? That's what they say, threatening him into marriage... darn it. I want to know all the secrets to make it work. If any of my readers are married, please share the good word with a sista. Impatiently...

I want to do so much. I want to do so much with myself, with my friends, with my family. I have a few years until I turn 30. Just typing that made me shake my head. Who thinks of being 30 when they're 13? Ok I haven't been 13 in a while but I'm not ready to be 30. Am I? In my mind that age comes with a lot of responsibilities. I mean true I am already a mother, so I have responsibilities that a lot of people don't yet have but I also know people younger than me who have more going on than I do. I could have more going on too... why don't I? What will I have going on at 30? My daughter will be school age so I will have to teach her how to behave, how to respect others and most importantly how to respect herself. Will her Dad be around when I'm 30? He is younger than I am so it's hard to say. He may just be finding some sense and I may be too far advanced to help him fill in the blanks. I mean I already have my kid. I've never been the one to w...

This post took no survey at all. We as women should know what turns men on and what turns them off. This is my perception. I am merely a girl... with a pen and a thought. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. 9 types of Women that Men just can't stand (in order of importance) 9. Natural Nancy Hi my name is Natural Nancy. I am the used to be ghetto girl with the side pony all of 27 inches who just decided to go natural because everyone else is doing it. It looks so cute on them so why not try it? Well Natural Nancy, you shouldn't try it because yo' hair nappy as hell! Your name should be Nappy head Nancy because no matter how hard you try to doctor that crap, it will never look as good as the other girls. Let them do them and you do you! Being natural is not for everybody and it won't be good for your relationship because no man wants to go out with a woman who's bald fade looks better than theirs. 8. Narcissistic Nancy Hey! Oh don't act like you...

I need to get back to reading books! My best friend Cergio has been reading the Harry Potter books for the past 17 months now. Go ahead and laugh, I sure do, but actually the fact that he is carrying around a paperback book on his own free will is very commendable. I was in his car a couple of months ago and I saw it. It made me envious, I used to read books. Who knows when was the last time I sat and read a paperback book. It's so easy to be caught in the distractions of the many websites once you get on a computer or swayed by the tablet era to download the book on your ipad but my best friend is doing a good dead. He is a Dean at a grade school so him carrying that paperback book could encourage his kids to grab one and be just like him. While we're at it, lets get back to hand written letters and face to face conversations. There so many places we can go from here and it all starts with the good ole black and white, hold the paper cuts.

I was listening to the radio with my Dad last week and I, of all people, shook my head at the ridiculousity that is getting radio play. I told him that I felt sorry for my child because I can only imagine how terrible music will be when she is a teenager. My Dad said they won't even be singing/rapping then. They just gone get on and say "tweet me, text me; tweet me, text me." Sad case indeed. He then went on to say that there will still be R&B, Blues and Jazz and I honestly begged to differ. Who is making music like that right now? Not nobody! There is no Keith Sweat, Johnny Gill and Gerald Levert of my generation and there damn sure won't be any for my daughters'. Although Tyrese, Ginuwine and Tank tried to duplicate LSG with TGT, neither one of the groups had any success after their debut song. LSG's was My Body, what was TGT's? Exactly. These poor children will never feel the way we felt when we first heard the hottest slow jam or even better, ...

There is a such thing as constructive criticism, but most often than not, the person giving it is not constructive enough and the person receiving does not want to be criticized. I was told something last night that would probably hurt most people but it only made me stronger. I mean it hurt for a few seconds but after the anger was released I was so much stronger because of it. My daughter's father is a very attractive man. A few of my girlfriends beg to differ (or at least they say they do but you can never trust a woman around your man), but I see with my own four eyes the way women of all ages act when he's steps into a room. It's mildly hhilarious if you ask me but to a different type of woman, being in that type of environment every time you go somewhere is tiresome and could be a blow to your self esteem. It was a blow to my hustle. Yesterday, he and I had a conversation about his new girl, my new guy, our new things. He showed me a photo and I laughed at the s...

How many of you are still afraid of your parents? More specifically your mothers? Well I am. Very afraid of my mother, what she will say and especially what she would do if I were to do certain things that I know she is against.  One of those things at the top of her list is, sleeping in the same room, bed, sniffing distance of my boyfriend. I had this conversation a while ago with my roommate and I have had it plenty of times with my daughters father. This is so written in stone, it's not even a thought in my mind to question the authority of the lady no matter what the situation, who the boyfriend. If we are not married, it won't be happening. Shucks, I'm scared to even ask about sleeping in the same bed as my husband while in her house, she'd probably still say no! My roommate, along with many others, thinks it should be okay if you already have a child together. She said, "we're not going to do anything with our son in between us." My daughter...

Something that has really been bothering me lately are the inconsiderate actions of men. I have come to realize that a man, when you first meet him, is really nonchalant. Down for whatever but not sweating nothing at the same time. That changes once you take the step into some kind of liking or once they realize that their like for you is not being reciprocated. Then they like you more, because you are a challenge, a mystery, something to look forward to. That all changes for the worse once they get you, once they have successfully switched the tables on you and begin to play for to the left so that you can chase them. This is where we mess up ladies! This is where we should continue to play field, if we for some reason had stopped because of this one. This is when you need to show rather than tell that "although you have my attention, so does a few other guys so pull back if you want and I just might be unattainable once you decide to come back." If we fail to implicate ...

I must get married before I turn 30. Maybe 35. Before I get old. I hate to see, hear, know of an older women dating. It does something to my insides... grosses me all the way out. I don't mean any intentional harm but it just can't be me. I was talking to a lady today. She has to be in her late 30's early 40's. She has seven children and she was telling me today how her "little friend" was complaining about her natural hair phase. Lady... nice lady by the way, but lady, why aren't you married? You're old now, dating is for the young people. I really, honestly feel this way and I do feel sorry for the widows and people of that nature because their position is not by choice but I doubt very seriously if they are in Grown Folks on Saturday nights looking for a new boo. Grown Folks is a real club by the way. I saw the ambulance in front of there last night. Somebody must have had a heart attack while trying to find them a new boyfriend. Sad case indeed....

Keeping kids up late does not work. At least not for my kid or my Godkid. It is currently two hours past their bedtime and these fools dragging, eyes low to the ground but will not go to their beds for anything. And they gone be tapping on us in the morning... Bogus. I am thankful for one thing though, my baby girl sleeping through the night. True its been about two months now but the appreciation never gets old. I don't even mind if she wakes me up throughout the night looking for her paci. I am not the least bit mad because I know that when her lips hit that thing I'm already back in my bed and under the covers. Being a mommy has its ups and down but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

So in case you were wondering why the sudden bounty of blogs, I accepted a dreadful challenge from my home girl Veronica Hilbring to write 30 blogs in 30 days. Type in #30in30 on twitter and you will see that its a whole heap of us doing it or at least trying our very best to. Mine should be called "Two a days" because I stay missing a day and having to double up on the next day, but still I rise. Blog topics are not really a problem for me... yet. It is the fact that I have to write every single day. It's like a job, a job that I no longer have and quite honestly, a job that I no longer want. I already have a full time job as a mother so sneaking out of the bedroom at night to write to you guys is truly a task. But none the less, I am thankful for the written rejuvenation. Until tomorrow snitches.

I began this week by sending out all of the emails in my draft folder. It held heart felt memories and many thanks to the teachers at Southern Illinois University Carbondale who have greatly impacted my life. I didn't want anything in return, just simply writing to let them know I learned, I remember and I appreciate. You should take a minute out of your busy schedule to do the same. It is so easy for us to criticize our institution of learning asking why didn't we have that big fancy library when we were there or trying to recall when in the hell we used a fraction since Mathematics 101. But when we realize that there were some lessons, some classes, some teachers that we couldn't have succeeded without, we should let them know. My top three are Dr. Jonathan Bean for his Business History class, Dr. Pamela Smoot for her African American History and Professor William Recktenwald, my teacher in many journalism classes, my adviser in The National Association of Black Jour...

Ok some of you will call me a fool, I'd like to think of myself as a realist. My father taught me at a young age that women live the fairy tale version of what their life truly is. Or at least they try to. Why won't you women wake up and smell the coffee beans? Newsflash: Men cheat. Update: Women cheat too. If you don't want to play tit for tat and become a cheater as well, there are three very important things that we must know and accept as women. Three. Very important. Here they are: 1. A man is going to do whatever the hell he wants to do If he planned on smashing Meagan before he met you, you can bet your bottom dollar he's still planning on smashing. Little do you know, you just helped him out. Women only want a man when someone else has or wants them too so Meagan is laying it on thick until she gets what she wants. Are you going to let him go that easily? 2. A man with money or status is going to do whatever the hell he wants to do He don't ...

Remember when we were younger? When we would find one of our mother's old casette tapes to record over with the whole A side full of WGCI just so that we could learn our favorite songs. We would rewind after ever couple of words so that we could write down the lyrics in our spiral notebook and study them all night. We would go to school the next day swaping out versions of what we each heard. I remember doing that process for three particular songs: We Can't Be Friends by Deborah Cox and R.L., All Cried Out by Allure featuring 112 and Hail Mary by 2PAC. Don't laugh, you know those were the jams. I can't help but think about the good times I had sitting in front of my radio, enjoying life. My only care in the world was getting these lyrics right and learning this song. That was until my momma came in yelling because I recorded over her Prince tape. Uh oh. The good old days.

Damn I hate misplacing important things. It doesn't happen often but when it does, it burns my soul.  Today I have misplaced my debit card. I have already called and looked online to see if there were any charges made and there has not been so I'm not really worried. But I am irritated. I'm tired of looking for it and I wish it would turn up already. Ugh. Don't you hate it too? I used to panic and stuff. I remember when I lost my card in college and as soon as I cancelled it, I found it. Then I had to wait several days for the new one to arrive. Headache. So anyway, if yall happen to see a worn out bank card with my name on it, please return it. You can buy yourself a pop or a bag of chips as a reward.

If I were on Maury, today's show would be entitled: "The women who hold men down and the men who don't deserve it." I swear being a down ass chick gets you no where if the man doesn't love you. Now you're just down for no damn reason, struggling for air, with no one to pull you up. If I were on Love and Hip Hop of Atlanta, my character would be the random woman who slapped some sense into MiMi Faust. She really really needs it Lord. Let me help her, please. If I were on Top Chef, I would be the only "chef" using the microwave. Hey man, I'm just now learning how to do the cooking thing, give me a break. If I were on Jeopardy, I would play like I'm clicking the shit outta that buzzer then lie and say it didn't work. If I were on La La's Full Court Life I would have to tell Po that her wardrobe is a montronsity and if she ditched the rags she would look much more attractive. If I were on Bad Girls Club I would be sent home the...

5. Erase emails about God It's just not right man. You're going straight to hell, do not pass GO, do not collect $200. Point blank period. 4. Curse in front of an elder I am been in some positions where an elder has cursed me out and called me all types of names, kicked me out, called my momma to come get me, said they feel sorry for my baby for having a mother like me. And all I could do was think about how ignorant and miserable they must be to talk to someone like that. I could never stoop to such a low level, as BAD as I would want to curse them because my mother did not raise me like that. I respect all elders, whether they deserve my respect or not. 3. Go to the movies alone That is the most desperate thing a person can do. I don't give one shit about what the movie is and how bad I want to see it. If I can't get a baby sitter and find another loser to go with me I will waiting until that movie is on video. Sparkle for one? More power to the peo...

I have this friend. This really handsome, hard working, fun, generous and did I say handsome friend who I always thought was obsessed with being in a relationship. What's wrong with that you ask? What's wrong with me? That's what we want right ladies? That's who we dream of, right? The kind that is ready to settle down and be a family man, providing and protecting his own right? No. Actually, we don't. Not when we have just graduated college, moved to a big city, left a trying relationship and declared our self single and ready to mingle. Who wants to be tied down to anyone then?  We don't realize that we are ready to settle down with this kind of man until this kind of man is nowhere to be found. Now we're stuck with the good for nothing, faux pimp and player types that can't do nothing but buy you a stick of bubble gum and send you on your way... Oh, they all outta bubblicious? Well I'll be got damned. Now we are in searching in broad day...

Catching a glimpse of Single Ladies tonight made me laugh at the moment when the man said that he loved the woman but the woman didn't feel the same way. It's a sad case. Cue the Beyonce, "looking so crazy in love got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love." It's a hard place to be in. I've been in both positions. I don't have to tell you that you do not want to be the person saying it. But think about how the person receiving it feels. They are forced to either break the persons heart or lie to their face. Which would you rather be? Which would you choose?

I don't have any Grandparents. They are all deceased and have been since high school. When I am in the presence of other people's Grandparents I am in full student mode. They know so much and never have a problem with telling you what they know, how they were raised and how things should be. This is why men these days need their Grandfather's around. They need to know how to treat women. Hold the door, pull out the chair and most importantly, don't talk back because the woman is always right. Men these days don't realize that very important point, you can't win with a woman so bow out gracefully. These lames wanna go toe for toe, tit for tat. Come on now. Ask your Grandpa. Women always win.

Just a few years ago, I would cringe at the term "baby mama," Today, I embrace it. It is what it is and I am who I am.  You have to live your life and roll with the punches. I never thought I'd be a baby mama. I'm more of the wife, fiance, girlfriend type. Or so I thought. Life is just not the fairy tale you dream it to be when you are eight years old in your big cousin's tiara and your mother's high heels. I wish I could go back. I would say "self," my self would say "huh." And then I would lay it on thick... "Little Aerial, these boys only want one thing and one thing only. Your heart! So they can break it." Can I get an Amen? "Protect yourself little Aerial. Protect your cookies. Protect your heart. Or else be the best baby mama you can humanly be, like me." I love my baby. Love her to the death. Do you hear me? I am with her every single day! She needs for nothing. And once she start to talk, she wi...

I've never been the outwardly sexual type. I don't dress slutty. I don't send naked pics. I don't go to bachelorette parties. I'm like NeNe Leakes from The Housewives of Atlanta. It's just not my scene. Some things should just be for me to know and for him to find out. Behind closed doors. In private.  That's it that's all. It does not excite nor entertain me to read about someone else's smutty escapades. It more grosses me out if anything. Some things are better left on the shelf.

Dear Mr. Jones, Man how time flies. I was a couple months pregnant when I last saw you. We couldn't talk much because your big ugly ass baby mama was hawking, but oh how I miss thee. Wait, umm, did I just throw shade on your baby mama? I'm sorry. Actually I'm not. That's what you chose. Instead of me. Remember? Remember when we used to talk about building a family together? We were so young and in love. Now look at us, grown ups, parents... miserable. Remember when you broke my heart? No? Oh you're right, it happened a few times. I was always one to give a second, third, fourth chance. I remember when you first told me about this girl. It was impromptu. She was outside of your apartment, she was kicking dents into your back door, she was throwing bricks through your car windows... you were breaking my heart. Before then? I vaguely remember our conversation. You said you were going out with G, having drinks, celebrating life. So you went out, you got d...

When you have no other choice, what choice do you choose? You only have one life to live so that means one life to loose. When the reality sets in that this is all you got, Do you grab hold of the ball and take your best shot? Or do you crawl up, ball up and tuck in your tail? For fear of the unknown, for fear you may fail? When you have no other choice, the choice should be clear. Push away the nay sayers, break away from the fear. Make your choice, though it may not be wise, Choose with your heart and not with your eyes.

I know the good Lord will strike me down for saying this, but I love the new season of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. There are many many reasons why I should not but the reason why I do far exceeds any social standard or racial disgrace. I love it simply because I can relate. Not many of you know this but I have an seriously dysfunctional relationship with my child's father. It is so bad that we can not stand to live in the same state because all we do is fuss and fight. We hate each other immensely but we have a child together so we are forced to interact from time to time. He started off as a bad boyfriend that I should have deaded in the beginning but you know how those bad boys are so he turned into my bad baby daddy, and now here we are. Now this is the clean version but chop it up and screw it round and you have Stevie J and MiMi. If that relationship ain't a dirty mirror image of us, my name ain't what it is. Now for those of you who know me, the ONLY difference...

I have been doing a lot of cleaning, reorganizing and restructuring of my things and I came across an old calendar book from high school. Looking through it made me realize how fun of a childhood I had and how much I have changed. I was obsessed with The Backstreet Boys and my girlfriends Adrian, Renita and LaKendra. That was pretty much all my calendar book was about, them. It was fun to relive those moments and rediscover the love that I have for them. Amazingly they are still in my life today and I don't thank them enough for making me smile both then and now. Thanks girls. Love you all.

When I was a sneaky little teenager, my Father told me that, "No matter if it's done in the dark, nothing is secret, there is always someone who sees you." I have always believed him when he said that and I am now applying that to my adult life, and other adults in my life for that matter. Last week I saw a friend, a friend that I can tell anything to and not think twice about the security of the information. A friend that I would call on for advice or help or just to make me laugh. It is a male friend, one that I see as just that. I'm going to talk a little slang on the next part so hopefully you keep up. Ok so we kickin it, laughing, having a good time when all of a sudden he tries to get all slippery on me. I had to readjust my face and pull back the reigns. Whoa whoa whoa... ummmmmm? First of all no. Secondly, what would make you think...? And third of all but certainly not in order of importance, I am a single mother! All frivolous activity have come to a co...

Okay class, lets get straight to it. This is Text Message 101 so take out your mobile devices and listen carefully. Rule #1: Keep it light, keep it simple. If you're writing a book, write it! Don't be sending me a broken up seven message story. It's freaking rude first of all and secondly it defeats the purpose of a text message. Merriam-Webster defines a text message as: " a short message sent electronically usually from one cell phone to another." Key word kids: SHORT. #2: Do not use texting for messages that can be misinterpreted. If you get all serious after they have made a joke, don't get mad when they respond with an "LOL," how did they know you switched it up and got touched? Don't text sarcastically or emotionally, the reader will never be able to identify which is which. The emoticon can not replace emotion, your voice is still the key.  #3: If you have a new phone number, identify yourself! Start the message with "Hi thi...

Dear People Next Door, No not neighbors, people next door. You all are so rude, loud and ghetto that I am sure the man you are renting the house out from will kick you out on the street where you belong. And clearly the fence that you were banging on that one day when my child and I were trying to take a nap, did not work because instead of keeping you negros inside it,  those bad ass children of yours are always frollicking outside of it. All in our backyard cursing each other out. Who in the world knew a kid, who looks all of six years old could have a rotten mouth like that!? But then again, her mother, who I have seen way more of than I need to, isn't the Saint that she could be. I heard her pot mouth only after seeing her hind parts as she exited the car one sunny day. Too bad her pants were a size two small otherwise if they were too big I am sure to have seen more than pay per view allows. Please keep your domestic situations under control because my daughter and I ...

Hey friends, I need some new friends. Some new people to follow on twitter, a new book for my Kindle, some new blogs to read, you know... some new shit. You know what I mean. I am very much enjoying my life with my family but these friends of mine... they need a facelift fast! My ride of dies are in Chicago and I don't frequent the city enough to have their presence keep a lasting impression. My college girls are all around the Midwest but they are too rich for my blood, always trying to vacate somewhere. I only have a handful of Atlanta friends (who are not from Atlanta) but I be so tied up with  my little plum face that I don't even have time for them. I need to put out an ad or get on one of those mommy websites so I can find a person my age, with my schedule and a crawling kid like mine and set up a play date. Now if y'all don't hear from me in about a month, call them folks!!!

Why do you think I love you less just because I forgot your birthday? Look, I'm sorry that my Mother raised us in a household where birthdays and holidays don't run our world. To my Mother, every day is an opportunity to show her that we love and appreciate her. Do the dishes before she asks you to, it's Mother's Day. Do the dishes before she gets home from work and it is now her very own Christmas day. It doesn't take much to please my Mother and it shouldn't take much to please you! Sure, I thought your birthday was today instead of yesterday, sue me. There are people that I am weeks and even months off. And believe it or not, there are some people who I have no earthly clue, one being my best friend Lakendra, but don't tell her... because she already knows. I miss it every year but she knows that I love her no less. It's just not my thing. Birthdays, monies and telephone numbers... actually numbers in whole. I'm a words person. So here is ...

I am learning so much about myself now that I am a mother of a beautiful baby girl. I am trying to identify my attributes and my flaws so that I will know what to and what not to teach my child. She may be growing faster than I am learning these important things about myself but she is also helping me grow. It takes a very strong woman to raise a son but it takes an even stronger one to raise a daughter. Some people may think this task is an easy one but for an unwed, under appreciated and unemployed woman, it is the hardest thing in the world to attempt to teach your daughter the importance of being married, of having personal and financial success although you don't quite have those things. We as parents, regardless of what we have been through have to teach our children the fundamentals of life. But we mothers must inform the future mothers of the world, our daughters, the sacred bond and necessity of marriage and monogamy, of love within oneself, of the focus and dedicatio...

I am friends with enough men to know that they hate getting the "we need to talk" text because they always perceive that to mean that they have done something wrong, when in fact that is not always the case. Men, I would like to let you in on a little secret... against the wishes of my female counterparts, but what the hey: Here is the reason why women send vague text messages. Women have a specific reason behind every single teeny weeny, itsy bitsy mundane action that they do. Let's focus specifically on those vague and alarming text messages. The "we need to talk" text or the "wn2t txt" as I call it, is sent to get your mind racing on what you did, what you could have done, what you used to do and what you will do as a result of this upcoming conversation. Women like to send those texts when you are not around, when we have not spoken to you in a few days or ideally when we are on good terms. Sending the wn2t txt when you two are on bad terms wil...

Tampico Tampico: That distinct mixture of cheap orange drink flavor and hella sugar that only a hood kid would love. Try it some times, it is really good My daughter's stinky toes: I don't know how a person so little could have toe jam so serious but I pick her little stubby toes clean everyday and I enjoy it The smell of a banana peel: I really enjoy the scent of a just eaten banana peel just laying around my room. It is so delicious smelling An old school blackberry: You know the one, the big square one with the scroll on the side. Dang I wish those were back in style. Maybe I can resurrect them... nah nevermind I have an iPhone and if you don't have an iPhone... well you know the rest.  Patterns: My closet holds an abundance of pastel colored flower shirts. My roommate says that I dress like an old lady but I think the style is more earthy and calming Firm over soft: A brand new firm pillow I would squeeze and love to death. I would take a firm couch o...

I used to have a best friend I have no clue where she went Maybe I went somewhere and she is frantically looking for me I doubt it because even though I am where I am, when I am where she is I look for her so if we were both looking for each other we should have found each other by now right? But we haven't We've only managed to make ourselves farther and f a r t h e r apart We used to be so close I don't love her any less or at least I don't think I do but I do miss her and I am upset that we've let our relationship come to this distant almost non existent path Maybe I should call more maybe I should email her, send her a letter, maybe just shoot her a text Is it my pride that won't let me do it because I feel as if she should be calling me Maybe she feels the same way Now calling...

Man you guys, my daughter is getting so big. It's unreal. I mean I knew it would happen but how does it happen so fast. She is so alert, so busy, so greedy. I only wish my family could be around every day to see her evolving into this little lady. I said I would never live in Chicago again but my daughter not being around my family is really tearing me up. There shall be changes made real soon. Stay tuned.

Today was the last day of Boot Camp. I am happy yet every time I outwardly proclaim my happiness I feel that I should be ashamed of myself. Only a fat and lazy person would be happy that their strenuous yet very beneficial workout regimine is over. That class really did a lot for me. It was my first time working out since being pregnant my first child and it was my first time away from my daughter since she was born. I attended four of the six weeks, which was eight of the eleven classes. And from those eight hour long classes I lost 4.6 lbs, 3.5 inches off my waist and 7 inches from my hips. I didn't join boot camp to loose weight so I am pleased with those 4 lbs, I joined boot camp to drop this baby flab, tone these muscles and fit back into my pre-baby jeans. And by golly dropping those 7 inches from my hips definitely did the trick. I am so amped about that because a person like me, who eats whatever, whenever went half ass in a hard core fitness class and still got results...

Which heart are you? Valentines Day is days away so the stores have been filled with the usual red, pink and white cards, candies, bags and bears. What is a little new (to me at least) is the abundance of the color black. What is not surprising is that the selection of masculine Valentines Day items are in major demand and sell out way faster than the pinkest of the pink items. Now that of course is because of two main reasons: The women gifts come in a much heavier shipment and men buy gifts at the very last minute. That is the few men who don't dump their girlfriends before the "holiday." Bet you didn't know this my faithful Chicago friends, Sweetest Day (or Sweeties Day as I call it) is not known outside of the midwest. Yep, me and all my Chicago friends were at work saying Happy Sweetest Day and these Georgian's had no clue what we were talking about. Sweetest Day was founded October 8, 1921 in Cleveland, Ohio by Herbert Birch Kingston who was a local c...

There are many things that make up a good woman. I believe these five C's are the Cream of the Crop, pun intended. 1. Cook , said the woman who doesn't know how to cook. I love the idea of cooking and I know men do too. I would love to learn how to cook and I will, as soon as I get my own place because I damn sure ain't burning down someone else's pad. I once improperly cooked a frozen pizza... as an adult! But that's neither here nor there. Every woman should know that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. 2. Clean. We all know that men are messy and lazy so a woman who is messy and lazy would only result in a house full of mold, funk and insects. Clean the dishes after you cook, make the bed every morning, wash and fold the clothes ... if that ain't a catch I don't know what is. 3. Cheese. This one is an easy one for me because I love to smile. There are so many things to smile about. You being pleasant will put him in a ...

We go through lessons in life to build us into this better, smarter, wiser more experienced person but sometimes we fall victim to stupidity that blocks ourselves from taking that lesson and turning it into the learning experience. For instance, if you are in a bad relationship with someone who you KNEW were bad for you in the get go, the lesson should be to try until you can try no more, go through the rough and ugly breakup, hurt... TERRIBLY and learn from the mistake of choosing to date someone that you KNEW were wrong from jump street. Learn from the mistake of going hard for someone who were not going hard for you or your relationship. Learn from the rough and ugly breakup that you should never leave yourself that vulnerable. Learn from the time spent that you could have been doing so many other things with your life and since you're not getting any younger, make the best out of your life while you are young and beautiful. That's what SHOULD have happened and from that you...

How has computers replaced tvs, ipads replaced computers, cell phones replaced alarm clocks, ipods replaced radios and texting has replaced talking... But I have not replaced you?

I've had a few relationships in my life and if you haven't figured out from that statement alone, I've had a few break ups as well. Now I am in no way an expert at relationships (because if I were I would be married right now), but I am a journalist and a I have a male best friend so I'm pretty well informed. Well enough to ensure you that there are five sure fire breakup rules and if you don't stick to them you may not only loose your man, but your sanity as well. DON'T SEEM PITIFUL , even if you are dying inside, singing love songs, kissing old photographs of him, digging for his clothes just to bury your nose in, keep that between you and those clothes. Try not to answer his calls on the first vibrate and definitely don't blow up his line either. The less contact the better, never let him see you sweat. Never let anyone see you sweat for that matter. KEEP UP A GOOD FRONT . Those nosey neighbors don't need to see you throwing his clothes out of the ups...

Lisa and I ditched boot camp today. Not only because we didn't have baby sitters, but because, and I will go ahead and speak for myself on this one, when I am mad about something, it is hard for me to do anything other than be mad. I am away from my daughter twice a week and it is for a great cause, my one hour hard core fitness class. My father babysits my daughter on Thursday nights when I go to class and my boyfriend's father babysits her on Saturday mornings when I go. The first Thursday went well. It was just my daughter and my Dad. Second week, it was my daughter, my Dad and his baby mama. Umm, side eye but okay. Third week we skipped because Mallory and I were in Chicago but week four... (deep sigh) week four would have been my daughter, my Dad, his baby mama AND my fresh out of the hospital baby sister. Key words: Would have been. I couldn't let this go on any longer. One add on is quite enough but two, and then next week three and you know where I'm headed. Now...

Do you like to argue? Do you think that being silent in an heated discussion is better than going back and forth in an argument? Being silent in an heated discussion can help dissolve the issue because there is no back and forth commentary. No comment for them to prolong the conversation or get more angry at you for saying out of anger. My best friend believes that being silent in an argument would only make him more angry because the point of an "argument" is being able to say what's on your chest and allowing (or not allowing) the other person to do the same. Arguing is nothing but a headache. A good debate however is right up my alley because I (like most women) think that I am always right so I like to know why you think the way you do. But a long drawn out shout fest... you can have that crap man. I will zip my lips, roll my eyes and take the L because it is not worth my serenity nor my sanity. When in an argument I feel that the best thing to say is nothing at all

I am a firm believer in the saying "everything happens for a reason." The problem is figuring out what that reason is and why it is happening to you at that particular time. There are many obstacles that have appeared in my life in the past three years that probably would have never came about had I stayed on the beaten path. But who follows the rules nowadays? It is truly when you step out of line to do your own little two step do you approach a challenge and teach yourself how to tussle. My question now is, how long am I supposed to tussle ?

Man my daughter is growing up at lightning speed. She will be four months in six days and she is already pulling herself up into a sitting position and rolling herself over. She had already been trying to talk and raising her body up from a belly position for a while now. I mean it is truly amazing the growth she has made in such a short period of time. I am both amazed and afraid. Everyone in my family says she is advancing because she is moving out of the way for the next child lol but I really believe that all of the love and attention I give her is paying off. The ability to breastfeed exclusively and be with her all day everyday has been an experience working mothers can only dream about. I am truly blessed to be able to be with her and watch her grow. You all are missing out.

It is mildly disturbing to witness my Mother's interaction with my younger siblings. She was so hard on my sister and I when we were growing up and now she is soooo casual with these two. I mean on one hand I am proud of her for allowing herself to loosen up and be both a friend and a mother but on the other hand, in this year of 2012, you can't be too loosey goosey on these heathens because children are messy. I don't know, maybe I'm low-key jealous because they have such a good relationship. Or maybe I fear that my Mother's kindness is being taken for a weakness when I hear her telling them to do things and them ignoring her. I honestly take it as a form of disrespect and my poor mother, she doesn't even go back and forth with them, she's so worn out. But these kids must stay in line because without guidance, discipline and structure my little teenage sister who looks the same age as me will be in the same boat as me sooner than she should, if you know...

I have been in Chicago for the past couple of days and I have really been enjoying myself. It is such a relief to be around my family and for them to volunteer to take my daughter from me and give me a break. I don't know if I told you all but my child is a handful. She is really spoiled and she screams VERY loudly. All in good manipulation because she stops as soon as she is placed in my arms... most of the time. My mother and sister hosted a Meet Mallory party for my Chicago friends and family. It was very nice and Mallory got a lot of much needed things: clothes, diapers, wipes, money and most of all love. I so appreciate all of my family and friends who came. It means so much to me, they probably would never understand how grateful I am to have such sweet and loyal friends. My mother does not live close to any other them, everyone made at least a half an hour drive in the freezing cold, a day after a snow storm. Love those guys.

I have a cousin who is mixed and I remember how jealous I used to be of her growing up because she was so pretty with her fair skin and long beautiful hair. What I didn't know at that age is all the pain she had to endure for those very reasons. It's hard enough being a kid, but mixed children tend to have it a little harder because they are more than one race and may continue live a life of torment way beyond school age depending on which race they chose to identify with. I remember being teased because of my glasses, because I was skinny but most of all because of my name. People would call me Ariel the little Mermaid, Oreo (because it rhymes with Aerial) and Earl because it's the fast country was of saying Aerial. It's funny because I am far from school age and I am still being called Earl but I love the nickname now and I adore the three people who call me that nickname. I said that when I had a child, she would have the simplest name, like Amy so no one would missp...

I hate when people tell me something that they were trying to surprise me about. I don't know why I hate it so much but I'm going to try to figure it out right now, while talking to you guys. It's as if the person is not capable of doing anything on their own. Why couldn't they follow through to the end? Would it had hurt you to try a little harder? It would have been such a nice surprise, me finally getting a gift I knew nothing about. Doesn't that sound a lot better than me getting something kind of, sort of like I would have gotten if things would have worked out the way you planned them before you told me about the surprise. Huh? Exactly.

There is a such thing as guest etiquette my dear friends but I don't believe any of you know how to use it. Sure everyone knows that you should ask before doing almost anything in someone else's home but what if you are a regular? What if this home was your home away from home? Do you think that the rules no longer apply to you? No? Well you're wrong. No matter how many times I go to my "in laws" I always put my coat, bag and daughter's things in one particular spot in the living room by the door. Although they sometimes take my coat and hang it up, I personally do not like to go into people's closets to insert or retrieve anything because once something is out of place, you're the first person they look at. Not at all implying anything bad towards my "in laws" because I love them and enjoy their company BUT it is there home and I am a guest so I act as such. Did you know that you should take your shoes off when you coming into someone's ...